Opinion: For political leaders like Moammar Kadafi, ruling power is really all about The Hat

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

As not many realize by now, the key to holding enduring political power over a nation on this planet is The Hat.

To survive a long time, leaders must have a wide assortment of power hats and people hats and know exactly which one to wear to make that definitive leaderly statement on a very diverse variety of occasions.

The advance teams for American politicians are instructed to do almost anything to avoid forcing their boss to wear a hat at political events (excluding yarmulkes, of course).

These wily operatives will obediently orchestrate political events at construction sites out into the middle of street intersections to avoid forcing their boss to wear anything as funny-looking as one of those construction hardhats that sit way up on your head as if they’re covering some enormous Dallas hairdo.

Sure, working Americans proudly wear those hats every day just to protect their heads as required.

But they’re never going to face an election opponent who’ll publish their hat-wearing photo to make them look like a doofus.

Back in the 1988 presidential campaign, Michael Dukakis’ staff felt he had to look stronger on things military than voters would normally associate with some wimpy Massachusetts governor. Especially when said governor was running against World War II carrier pilot George H.W. Bush.

But ask Democrat Dukakis now if he regrets grinning while. ...

... wearing a bulbous bonnet and riding atop that immense tank. Hey, governor. Luke Skywalker called. He wants his helmet back. Worse are those goofy-looking bicycle helmets that some states now require and media photographers cannot resist snapping. The pol can appear to act above-the-law or he/she can look dumb. Tough spot, but that’s why they get the big bucks.

Every politician knows those photos will show up out of context on later occasions to make them look silly or worse.

Just ask President Calvin Coolidge if he really wanted to wear that Indian headdress to become an honorary chief.

As a result, without a wide array of hats, no American president lasts longer in office than eight years. Indeed, President Coolidge only made it through one election on his own.

But overseas, it’s different.

Think Queen Elizabeth II, who isn’t a political leader. But she does have some grand chapeaus in her closets -- and as a result, look, she’s been around in that palace since President Obama’s father was one of her young subjects in Kenya.

But the king of leader hats is surely Libya’s Moammar Kadafi, even if this news organization is the only one that chooses to spell his name this ridiculous way. No wonder he hasn’t paid his subscription bill.

This Libyan ruler may well be disconnected from reality, as the State Department has suggested. Kadafi told TV interviewers the other day that his people, the ones taking over city after city from Kadafi forces, absolutely adore him, just love him.

Conan O’Brien commented Tuesday night that Kadafi was so disconnected from the real world that the Libyan leader actually thought this year’s Academy Awards show was fantastic.

However, although Kadafi never managed to rise above the rank of colonel, even as he ran the entire country, he has hung on for 42 very long years.

Thanks obviously to his diverse collection of hats.

There are military hats, designed to create an imposing figure despite the lousy haircut.

And tribal hats (note the nice Michael Jackson white-glove touch).

There are all kinds of berets. And beanies.

Jauntily angled blue caps to accompany matching blue robes.

Visiting Chechnya a few years ago, Kadafi donned a fur hat with those floppy earflaps.

When Kadafi chatted up Obama in 2009, the Libyan opted for a power red brocade cap and matching robe to dominate the hatless new American leader’s pale blue tie.

The desert ruler apparently liked the fur cap so much, the uber-colonel wore it again the other day for his I’m-never-gonna-give-you-up harangue to an unruly crowd from safely atop a Tripoli parapet. Don’t make me come down there, people.

-- Andrew Malcolm

Speaking of fitness, work out your finger: Click here to follow The Ticket via Twitter alerts of each new Ticket item. Or click this: @latimestot. Our Facebook Like page is over here. We’re also available on Kindle. Use the ReTweet buttons above to share any item with family and friends, whether or not they’re wearing a hat.

BONUS COVERAGE