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Finally, Pakistan's prime minister reveals where Osama bin Laden isn't

April 12, 2010 |  5:34 pm


Like millions of people around the world, you may have noticed that the notorious Osama bin Laden, leader of al Qaeda, is not where you are.

Well, today Pakistan's prime minister, Yusaf Raza Gillani, confirmed to none other than CNN's Wolf Blitzer that bin Laden is not with him either. Nor is bin Laden even in Pakistan.

"In fact," Gillani declared on the "Situation Room," "Osama bin Laden is not in Pakistan."

Ever since 9/11, the elusive terrorist leader has been the object of much unsuccessful searching and even more talking. Some may recall President George W. Bush vowing to catch him dead or alive, which are the two main ways he is likely to be caught if that ever happens.

But now Pakistan can be added to the growing list of places where bin Laden is not, which currently includes Louisville, Bakersfield. Wrigley Field and the Magic Kingdom.

Being one of those pesty journalists, America's own bearded one asked the....

...Pakistani leader this: "If you don't believe that Bin Laden is hiding someplace in Pakistan, where do you think he is?"

That query produced this amazing exchange:

GILLANI:  I don't know.

BLITZER:  You have no idea. But you know for sure he's definitely not in Pakistan?

GILLANI: Certainly he is not in Pakistan. And even I don't know where he is.

BLITZER: How do you know for sure he's not in Pakistan?

GILLANI:  Because our military actions are very successful. And we have a very successful operation in Malakand and Swat, and now in South Waziristan and elsewhere. If there would have been any chance, he would have been arrested or maybe -- I even don't know whether he is alive or not.

BLITZER:  You think he might be dead?

GILLANI:  I don't know.

So now, we can safely report with uncertainty that not only do we not know where the guy is, we for sure don't know for sure if he's alive.

Back to you in the studio, Mitch.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photo: Associated Press (Hello, I'm not over here either).