Opinion: Ticket Replay: Obama dog Bo officially declared cute, seeks universal pet healthcare
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As the holidays close, The Ticket’s thoughts have been turning to a little undeserved time off. So we’re re-publishing some of our favorite or most-read items from 2009. This item originally appeared on June 19.
Well, it didn’t take long. And came as no surprise.
Just weeks after moving into the Democratic White House, Bo Obama used the occasion of his official photograph release today to call for universal pet health insurance.
Looking just darling and tilting his head as generations of successful public dogs have endearingly done to capture human hearts, the Portuguese water dog said that a society that could send chimpanzees into space certainly could afford to pay for such essential insurance for their beloved home companions.
Using a smaller version of the Obama Teleprompter, the nation’s First Dog said millions of hard-panting canines still live in homes where at a moment’s notice their sleep is disturbed by orders to sit and come and shake and roll over.
Their barks frequently go ignored. They are expected to relieve themselves according to a human’s walking schedule -- and in front of passing strangers. Some humans don’t even pick up after their dogs.
And, worse, when these dogs go to all the effort of retrieving a stick, the stupid human always throws it away again.
Yet in 2009 most dogs have no health coverage. None receive even minimum wage. And they are expected to eat off the floor.
Although he admitted coming from a breeder, Bo said millions of other dogs and annoying cats languish in homeless shelters with minimal chance of ever escaping.
Anticipating predictable Republican complaints, the liberal dog dismissed conservative concerns over such an expansive, expensive new national program adding billions of dollars to the federal deficit for future generations.
Bo said, frankly, there would be no future generations from him, he knew nothing about money and never heard any concern over spending too much from members of his household.
Asked about published reports that Vice President Joe Biden had claimed his dog Champ was smarter than President Obama’s, Bo Obama paused. He looked around slowly at the assembled throng of human photographers and reporters eagerly noting his every word and movement on the White House lawn.
Then Bo said simply, ‘Last time I looked back, it wasn’t Champ leading the president of the United States around on a leash.’
-- Andrew Malcolm
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