Top of the Ticket

Political commentary from the LA Times

« Previous Post | Top of the Ticket Home | Next Post »

Super Sarah Palin facts that everyone should know. Or else.

September 9, 2008 | 12:43 am

Longtime loyal Ticket readers will recall our examination of an amusing website last October, Chuck Norris Facts. That was back when Chuckie was campaigning for the Rev. Mike Huckabee.

The site, kind of a humorous Wikipedia about the legendarily bearded actor, collects all kinds of "facts" from readers, most of them fictitious, absurd, outlandish and/or outrageously bizarre to show how tough the martial arts artist is -- or was before he started working out with Christie Brinkley on those gym equipment infomercials that keep him up so late -- and rich.

An example: Chuck Norris is so tough Apple pays him 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Or, Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. Or, Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin with a fish she caught with her bare hands

Well, it only took about 10 days. But now we have an entertaining Sarah Palin website collecting outlandish "facts" about her.

The 44-year-old Republican governor of Alaska and mother of five just exploded onto the nation's political scene first with Sen. John McCain's announcement that he had picked the reformer as his Republican vice presidential running mate. (See video below.)

And then last Wednesday she blew away a Republican National Convention crowd in St. Paul and many in the nationwide TV audience of 37 million with a memorable, energizing acceptance speech to become the first female running mate on a GOP presidential ticket in the party's 164-year history.

The website has noted that upswept hairdos are suddenly in, as is Palin's style of eyeglasses.

As The Ticket noted yesterday, now the self-described hockey mom who hunts and helps on her family's commercial fishing boat has become a veritable Palinomenon.

Thanks to dozens of enthusiastic online submissions, we have a Sarah Palin Facts site* collecting all kinds of absurd stories about her. (By the way, Sarah Palin caught that fish in the photo above with her bare hands.)

Some samples:

Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point north.

Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable....

(You'd better click on the Read More line or Sarah Palin will come after you.)

... optic blasts slaughter everyone.

Sarah Palin is the only woman who can make Tony Romo win a playoff game.

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humChuck Norris legendary tough guy with a couple of his favorite guns now likes Alaska Republican Governor Sarah Palin for vice presidentanity's war against the machines.

Sarah Palin became Alaska's governor because having five children left her with too much spare energy.

Sarah Padawan Palin is the "other" of whom Yoda spoke.

Sarah Palin knows exactly how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

Sarah Palin's use of the word "haberdashery" will bring it back into style.

Sarah Palin had the original idea to drop the E from Flickr.

Sarah Palin knows who was on the grassy knoll.

Jesus wears a bracelet that says "WWSPD."

Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.

Sarah Palin is tough enough to shave off Chuck Norris' beard. With her nails.

It's not over until Sarah Palin says it's over.

BTW, anyone can go to the Sarah Palin Facts site to read and add their own. But before you go, please leave some of your most creative samples here in the Comments section below.

--Andrew Malcolm           *With a Ticket Hat Tip to Chuck Norris himself

Photo credits: Alaska Office of the Governor (top); (bottom)