The Daily Mirror

Los Angeles history

Fried Rice



Aug. 29-30, 1957
Los Angeles

1957_0829_rice_mug The poor thing died as hardboiled as she had lived: Renting a junky room in an old house that had been cut up into apartments. The landlord said she'd been sick for the last week. He was another writer, like her, and I wonder if he took her in because he felt sorry for her.

She got her long line of names from a long line of husbands: Georgiana Ann Randolph Fallows Ferguson Lipton De Mott Bishop. She met the last one, another writer, on her second trip to Camarillo, where her daughter put her to see if they could boil her out.

Everybody knew her as Craig Rice, author of "Having a Wonderful Crime," "Trial by Fury" and "The Lucky Stiff." Sometimes she used another pen name, Daphne Sanders.

The landlord of the house at 457 S. Serrano, R. DeWitt Miller, said she had been sick in bed for about a week and had taken a bad fall earlier in the day. She told him she was having an attack of malaria and asked him to get some quinine from the drugstore. He told her she should call a doctor, but she refused.

Two tenants found her sprawled across the bed and frothing at the mouth. James McNamara, a news editor at a radio station, and Richard Terry, an ad man, said they tried to revive her after calling an ambulance but she was dead when it arrived.

The whole place was strewn with cigarette butts and burned-out kitchen matches, and her purse was in a wicker hamper near the door, spattered with blood, The Times said. A globe of the world had fallen to the floor along with a open book: "A Family Treasury of Children's Stories."

Her pink eyeglasses were lying on a copy of her latest book, "Knocked for a Loop," next to her portable typewriter on a desk cluttered with more junk: A stuffed rabbit, Madonna and Child, and an empty vodka bottle. Beneath her ashtray were two bad checks, one for $60, the other for $410, returned for insufficient funds.

There was a wobbly pile of books on her nightstand and a painting of her mother on the wall, hanging above a fake mantel. "A somber oil portrait of a lovely woman of another era," The Times said.

She showed an early flair for drama, having been born in a carriage at Michigan Avenue and 12th Street in Chicago. She began writing poetry when she was 9 and got her first newspaper job when she was 18. Along the way, she wrote songs, publicity, a gardening column (she won a prize for her petunias), movie scenarios and had three children.


Dr. Frederick Newbarr, the medical examiner, said more tests were needed to determine the cause of death. The Times never reported on the results.

Georgiana Ann Randolph Fallows Ferguson Lipton De Mott Bishop, author of "My Kingdom for a Hearse," was 49.

Bonus fact: Earl Derr Biggers, the author of the Charlie Chan mysteries, lived at 2000 E. California Blvd., San Marino.

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Remedy for road rage

Aug. 29, 1957
Los Angeles

So that's why we have platinum spark plugs....


True confessions


Photograph by the Los Angeles Times

Los Angeles reporter and columnist Forabel Muir with a copy of her book, "Headline Happy."

Aug. 30, 1957
Los Angeles

What's with all these marriage quizzes? How about some blood and gore?

Believe it or not, I'm no crime fan and it's draining to dig through the details of a gruesome case like the Judith Mae Andersen killing. I needed some comic relief.

But since you asked, here's some stories we're following:

  • The Confidential magazine trial. Most of the scandal magazine's dirt comes prostitutes, ex-lovers and  other lowlifes. But film director Michael Todd, the husband of Elizabeth Taylor? Actually, yes. But he can explain.
  • The fatal beating of San Pedro attorney Milo S. Smith, who was found bound and bloody and was "kneed or kicked to death," The Times says.
  • A hearing for James Merkouris, who was once confined to a soundproof box because of his courtroom outbursts. The proceedings were conducted while he was spread-eagled on his back with five deputies holding him down.
  • The Dodgers aren't satisfied with 200 acres in Chavez Ravine. They want 350 acres, but the city doesn't own all that land.

Stay tuned.....

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How to Get--and Keep--a Husband


Aug. 29, 1957
Los Angeles

If it's true that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, then author Kate Constance wants every salmon to have a Schwinn. She's written a book on the subject, "How to Get and Keep a Husband," which is being serialized in the Mirror.

Part 4 is the installment I've been waiting for, because Constance finally addresses the male part of the equation. It's not pretty, dear fish, because now that you're ready for a bicycle, the task is to pick the right one. And, between us salmon, it's not easy. There are lots of bad bicycles out there!

This is what to look for so that you get a 10-speed and not some clunker, because if you're wasting time with that old beater bike, some nice beach cruiser is getting away!

Or as Constance says: "Many lovely girls have suffered damaging emotional upset because of long and fruitless romances with men who selfishly monopolize their social time, driving away other possible suitors, yet never get around to proposing. The effect upon a woman's ego can be pitiful."

"Remember -- there are thousands of single male delinquents in our country who are shams foisting their spurious attentions upon women whom they have no intention of marrying." [Ouch!! It hurt my fingers just to type that--lrh].

How do you pick a bicycle? Ask yourself: Is he fish-worthy?

1957_0829_beck021. Is he a cheapskate? We're not talking about Mr. Constance, who "practically popped with gratitude" when Constance suggested an economical night on the town. No, Mr. Tightwad asks you out for a late date so he doesn't have to spring for dinner. Ice cream and a drive are more his speed. Even worse: "He never sends flowers or candy or a book but borrows good literature and even the evening paper!"

2. Does he blow his dough? Mr. Easy Come, Easy Go is just as bad as Mr. Tightwad, Constance says. He can't be cured, "and the woman who ties her destiny to him is taking a very long chance!"

3. Is he a boudoir bum? You know what I mean, dear fish. This is the bicycle that will take and take and take and never come across with an engagement ring. Mr. BB doesn't want love, he doesn't want marriage and he most certainly does not want children, Constance says. Mr. BB always has "some hopeful female on the string to give him all the sexual attention he wants. She yields to him in the hope that their physical relationship will foster enough love to induce him to propose.

"Poor, foolish female!"

4. Is he a perfectionist? Mr. Perfect is always frustrated because nothing else in life--especially you, dear fish--is perfect. Is the furniture a bit dusty? A sin! Is the seam on your stocking crooked? Even worse! Does he correct you when you mispronounce words? Run like the wind!

5. Is he, errrrrr, uhhhhh, ummmm gay? Of course, this is 1957, so Constance phrases the question a bit differently. Is he "abnormal?" "A type sometimes harder to recognize than you may believe," Constance says. "Some are highly social and give the outward appearance of being good marriage prospects, but never carry a romance forward toward marriage. They like to escort pretty women in public as a social shield.

"Men of this type are selfish cheats taking up a woman's valuable time and arousing false hopes in her heart.

"How can a woman discern the truth in a situation of this kind? If such a suspicion enters her mind, she might enlist the services of another, trusted man friend. Usually men can recognize telltale characteristics forever hidden from a woman's perception."

6. Is he Jack Daniels' best friend?
Maybe you can work a miracle but why handicap yourself, because Mr. JDBF is going to have lots of other problems to go with the drinking.

Here's some bikes worth riding:

1. New and not broken in yet. If you're a young fish, getting a young and inexperienced bicycle is the best, "so you can grow and build together"

2. The old, carefully maintained bike. You may need to be patient, dear fish: "Even if they have become set in their ways, a woman's love and patient guidance eventually can lead them into the broadening path of family life."

Sometimes the older bike is good because he's already housebroken, Constance says, at least if he's a widower. But the man who has been divorced several times, "is not a matrimonial prize."

Some final thoughts: "A woman must overlook age, physical appearance and small faults in favor of character, dependability and kindness."

[Note: In case there is any doubt, let me add: As with the horoscopes, this is for entertainment purposes only.--lrh]

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Paul V. Coates--Confidential File

Paul_coates_2 Aug. 29, 1957

Lynn Stuart didn't fall into a terror machine.

She jumped in, voluntarily.

When she did so, she was living in an outwardly quiet and clean Santa Ana community. She was married to a truck driver. She was raising two infant sons.

The neighbors liked her. The police didn't even known she existed. And those who operated in the dark corners of her town just plain ignored her.

But, almost overnight, all of that changed.

She took a job as a waitress in a small cafe not far from her home. She met and mixed with a bad crowd.

She learned the "language" they spoke. And shortly afterward she began dealing in the products.

She started making "buys"--of pills and marijuana and heroin.

What her new associates thought of her is hard to say.

But the feelings of her neighbors and friends, and of the police, were not hidden.

The police began staking out on her home, shaking her down when she left work. A few times, they threw her in jail on suspicion.

1957_0829_powers The neighbors and friends were more subtle. They just stopped talking to her.

To this point, Lynn Stuart's story differs little from the stories of dozens of others who became involved with narcotics.

But there is a major difference.

Lynn Stuart became entangled in the horror-web of dope out of a feeling of civic duty.

She was neither an addict nor a pusher.

She was, instead, an undercover narcotics agent.

Her nonpaying job began in 1951. She appeared at the sheriff's narcotics investigation bureau and stated, innocently, that she had heard about the seriousness of the problem and wanted to do something about it.

She had two infant sons, she explained, who might someday be affected.

The sheriffs checked her background, warned her of the dangers and put her to work. Assignment No. 1 was to become a waitress in her neighborhood cafe--a suspected hangout.

At the time, she didn't know marijuana from dried cabbage, but her ignorance worked beautifully to her advantage.

Who would suspect you of being a narco agent if you couldn't even use the jargon?

Everything worked almost too well, in fact.

Because Lynn Stuart became so successful, so deeply involved, that she practically cut off any personal retreat.

She made all the parties. She took trips to Tijuana with "friends" who'd tie 50-pound sacks of marijuana under their cars, or hide a few ounces of "H" in a secret stash compartment under the dashboard.

She attended the big weekend parties in Balboa and Newport. (Both communities were loaded with narcotics, she told me).

And she continued making "buys" up to $300.

Lynn Stuart's husband was the only outsider who knew of her job. He wasn't enthusiastic about it, but he didn't try to convince her to quit. He trusted the sheriffs, who gave her every protection possible.

The Stuart's house was ransacked a few times after she had made some substantial "buys"--to disprove rather plainly the old bit about honor among thieves.

But while Lynn Stuart minimizes the dangers to herself and her family, it's obvious that they were always there.

Because during her six years of undercover work, she supplied information to catch and convict nearly 30 pushers.

That's not easy to do without arousing heavy suspicions.

I talked to Lynn Stuart (a pseudonym) yesterday. She's through now--just a plain housewife, bringing up two sons.

Her experiences were pretty terrifying, she admits. But she wouldn't trade them.

"When I was in a tight situation," she told me, "I was afraid till I got out of it. Then it was over.

"But what used to send me home crying was watching the kids--the teenagers--get hooked.

"They could have been my kids in a few more years.

"Helping put some vicious people out of circulation--I guess that's what made it so worthwhile."

Paul V. Coates--Confidential File

Paul_coates Aug. 27, 1957

SUBJECTS' NAMES: Trudy, 6, Terry, 9, and Kim, 11, Ingram.

SUBJECTS' DESCRIPTIONS: All have blue eyes, light brown hair. Trudy and Terry, stocky build. Kim, slender.

Anyone with information as to their whereabouts is asked to contact Harvey Ingram, 1132 S. Holt Ave., Phone, WE bster 1-1501

Harvey Ingram's three children disappeared 14 months ago.

Today, he doesn't even know if they're dead or alive.

But in police language, they're not "missing persons." They aren't, because they disappeared with their mother.

To the police, Harvey Ingram's problem is (or was, until recently) a domestic one. If he ever wants to see them again, it's up to him to find them.

That's the official attitude of our law enforcement bodies.

It's a harsh one, but, in a way, it's a very necessary one. Because if the police found themselves dragged into every domestic entanglement in which participants sought their aid, they'd have little time for anything else.

The problem faced by Harvey Ingram is not unlike that of dozens of other husbands who emerge from California's divorce courts.

With rare exception, the mother--if at all fit--gets custody of the children. And from there, she has little difficulty slipping out of sight and leaving her ex-husband with two unpleasant surprises.

He can conduct an often expensive personal search and if he locates them, return to court (more expense) to request that his visitation privileges be absolutely enforced.

Or he can wait with the unlikely hope that someday they'll reappear.

Harvey Ingram selected the first.


And so far, his reward has been only additional expenses.

Ingram, a food distributor, and his wive, Vivian, were married in 1945. They separated eight years later and received their interlocutory decree in November of 1955.

It was a clean divorce. No scandal.

And Ingram, who didn't contest his wife's suit, came out of it better than most men do. He had been a good provider, and a clergyman testified that he'd never seen a stronger relationship between father and children.

The court psychologist recommended maximum visitation rights.

And the judge awarded him alternate weekends, certain holidays, plus half of the summer. Ingram was to pay $120 a month child support. His wife's alimony request was denied.

But then, according to Ingram, the trouble started. He says that on several occasions his wife wouldn't live up to the visitation order.

He adds: "I would have to have been a millionaire to go back to court on each violation." He, of course, was stuck with both attorneys' fees.

Then, on June 24 of last year, his wife and three children disappeared.

Immediately, Ingram sought help. He was turned down by the police and sheriff's office. It was a month before he could get the court to issue a subpoena on his wife. A deputy tried to serve it at her last known address. Naturally, she wasn't there.

It couldn't be served through her attorney, either, because she had withdrawn her papers.

When it became evident that the only way the subpoena could be served was if Ingram personally located his wife, he began a painstaking search.

He traced her and the children to Tucson, Ariz., lost the trail, picked it up again. But he never found her. He checked with city and county schools here. He checked with the state motor vehicle department. He checked lots of places.

Finally, last month, he got the court to issue a bench warrant for her arrest.

But it's just a piece of paper until the police accidentally stumble across her, or his continued search finally pays a dividend.

Ingram talks like a man who's very devoted to his children.

He talks like a man who won't quit searching till he finds them.

And maybe, someday, he will, in spite of some California divorce laws which almost make the state a party to his misfortune.


How to Get--and Keep--a Husband



Aug. 28, 1957
Los Angeles

If it's true that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, then author Kate Constance wants every salmon to have a Schwinn. She's written a book on the subject, "How to Get and Keep a Husband," which is being serialized in the Mirror.

In Part 3, she asks: Are you made for marriage? And she cautions fish on the difference between getting a marriage proposal--and being propositioned.

Constance is blunt: "If you are 30 years old and aren't married, something is wrong. That something is not necessarily wrong with you. Perhaps it is in your environment or circumstances.

1957_0828_constance_pix "But very likely it is you--your attitudes, your personality, your objectives or your appearance."

Because for every fish that's ready for marriage, there is a bicycle waiting to be ridden, she says. But are you ready? Here's the Made for Marriage quiz:

1. Are you over 30? Are you having a pity party because you aren't married? Are you "drowning your disappointment in work, reading, all-girl activities and family interests?"

2. Do you have physical deficiencies? "If you are burdened with a deformity or defect, do you almost hate yourself for it and envy those who are happily married?"

3. Not have an education? Does your lack of learning keep you in a bad job and exclude you from situations where you might meet eligible men? Or do you avoid social situations because you are afraid you'll say something stupid?

4. Are you broke? Do you think that money will solve all your problems and do you envy people who have more than you?

5. Are you homely? "Is your face or your figure so unbecoming that you cringe when you look in the mirror?" Worse yet, do you think men make fun of your looks?

6. Are you a 5 in a world of 10s? Are you so fed up with trying to look good, feel good and be good that you want to give up and become a slob?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not a fish who is ready for a bicycle!

Because many of the things you want so much don't matter to men, Constance says.

To be sure, she says, money, youth and a good figure get male attention. But more often than not, the fish won't get a marriage proposal--she'll get propositioned!

Constance warns: "Too many women, finding it difficult to win a husband, resort to every available physical means to arouse and satisfy the males they attract. In so doing, they destroy the very codes and standards they would prefer to live by." Or as Charlie Chan might say: "Girl who do everything under sun get everything sunburned."

And Constance says looks are less important than you imagine. Because regardless of what you think, a bicycle will ask a beautiful fish up to his apartment, but not down the aisle.

"Men shy from married life with a woman who is too good-looking, fearing that she may overshadow him, that she will prove to be selfish and spoiled, and that she may be unfaithful," Constance says.

"The sad truth is that a beautiful woman too often feels that character and personality are unnecessary, and that she has all she needs to get by--until age creeps up and takes her most precious asset."

And age is truly unimportant, Constance says. The problem is that some fish have an inferiority complex because they are over 30.

What do bicycles want from fish? "Emotional maturity, poise, considerateness, intellectual stimulation and efficient homemaking." None of which have anything to do with money, looks or age!

Her final advice: Be your better self.

[Note: In case there is any doubt, let me add: As with the horoscopes, this is for entertainment purposes only.--lrh]

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Not on Netflix


Aug. 28, 1957
Los Angeles

Incredibly enough, The Times failed to review this double feature from American International Pictures. Take my word for it, though: Bad things happen.

How did AIP come up with such classics? In 1958, The Times' Philip K. Scheuer interviewed James H. Nicholson and Samuel Z. Arkoff to find out. Nicholson and Arkoff said the typical AIP feature was shot in eight to 10 days for about $150,000 ($1,074,792.57 USD 2006). In a reverse of conventional thinking (drawing a wide audience with two diverse films) they released double bills that would appeal to the same audience, a lesson Nicholson learned in reissuing "Grapes of Wrath" and "Tobacco Road."

Here's some tips for the next Tarantino.


"Our pictures are made primarily for the 8-to-21 groups. Science fiction and horror, about 50%; war films also; teenage stories.

"We do our planning backwards: Get what sounds like a title that will arouse interest [Think: "Dragstrip Girl" and "Night of the Blood Beast"], then a monster or gimmick; then figure what our advertising is going to consist of.

"Then we bring in a writer to provide a script to fit the title and concept.

"Now we bring in the producer--though he may have been in during the writing of the script earlier. Four of our producers are also writers and one, [Roger] Corman is also a director."


"In the whole organization, many double in jobs. Basically we're merchandisers, so it's easier when we work with fewer people, the ones we know can match the concept we have in mind."


"The titles are simple and don't leave any doubt what the picture is about." [Think: "Attack of the Puppet People."]


"Titles, monsters and gimmicks are the stars. If these can't attract, we have missed the merchandising boat."


"But we must keep coming up with different ideas than heretofore."

Nicholson and Arkoff like science fiction because "there is no other form of storytelling for which you can call upon your imagination."

But their favorite double bill so far?

"Machine Gun Kelly" and "The Bonnie Parker Story."

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How to Get--and Keep--a Husband


Aug. 27, 1957
Los Angeles

Now that a fish has landed a bicycle, how does she hang on to it? Kate Constance gives the answers in the second installment of "How to Get and Keep a Husband" being serialized in the Mirror.

Remember this is getting and keeping a husband, 1957-style, so her advice has nothing to do with "The Wild Thing That Will Keep His Coming Back for More!" as featured in all those Cosmo cover stories. Her rules are more along the lines of "don't nag," "don't ogle other men while your husband is around" and "lose the extra pounds, ladies."

Constance portrays men as simple creatures:

"Every man has in the back of his mind a vision of the kind of woman he would like to have for a wife.

"No matter what people say, men are idealistic. Each of them can imagine the girl whom he considers the complete woman for his particular way of living.

"As a guide for the single woman who would like to play that role in a man's life, here are 11 attributes which--with some variations to suit the individual taste--most men want their wives to posses."

1957_0827_constance_quiz1. Don't compare him to your ex-bicycle (and I'm paraphrasing here) at least not in any good way. The happy fish who wants to keep her bike lets her husband "know that no other love in her life has equaled or surpassed his love. She tells him that he is superlative as a lover." 

2. Feed his ego. Let your bicycle know that he is "strong, wonderful, handsome and smart." Final tip: "He eats up praise."

3. Be a cheap date. Don't go to the most exclusive nightclub or restaurant in town and order the most expensive thing on the menu--unless your bicycle offers.  "When I was dating the wonderful man I later married, I insisted that we bypass the lavish night spots.... He practically popped with gratitude," Constance says.

4. Maintain your looks and health, and for goodness' sake don't whine. Constance's advice: "Many women endanger their wellbeing with too little sleep, too much drink and tobacco, plus a frenzied attempt to keep up too many activities and probably a weakening diet thrown in."

She offers a case study in failure: "They dated for three years, then he married another girl. Why? He got tired of hearing Betsy complain of her nervous headaches and her worn-out feet and aching side. Her constant complaining cast a shadow over his enthusiasm."

5. Be sure you are compatible before it's too late. To offer a modern example, if you don't care about sports, you may not understand why your bicycle finds fantasy leagues, old baseball cards and vintage memorabilia endlessly fascinating. "And if you marry him, determine to go along with his preferences, with enthusiasm and perseverance." A brief honeymoon isn't enough.

6. Don't nag. "Nagging seldom improves a man (We need improving? I detect a troubling subtext here). It only tends to irritate and set him in the opposite direction.

"I have seen innumerable romances crumble before a woman's destructive tongue. If the truth were known, it is likely that a good percentage of the great number of men who are missing each year leave home to escape a nagging wife.

"Yes, you are entitled to express your opinions. But once you voice them and discuss the matter, don't go back and rehash the issue."

7. Be nice--and don't get jealous. Maybe your bicycle has a few little faults--like always being late for your dates, bringing one of his buddies home for dinner or giving his mother some money in an emergency (my, how have times changed).  Let them slide.  "It is far better to give too much understanding than too little. And control that natural little streak of jealousy."

8. Don't be possessive.  Do you ask prying questions about where your bicycle has been and what he's done? Do you check up on him? Are you jealous if he pays attention to anyone else? Do you hate it when he spends too much time at the office? Well, stop it, Constance says.

9. Don't fool around--and practice your faith. A bicycle doesn't want his beloved riding any other bikes. "A man yearns for a woman whose moral standards are beyond question," Constance writes. "As for spiritual strength in a woman, most men are not consciously seeking it and actually do not hope to find it. But when they do, it is a bonus for the relationship."

10. Look good. Work with what nature gave you to be "as lovely and charming as possible."

11. Cook and clean. Tough words from Constance: "To marry and foist upon a man a life of indigestible meals and an unkept house is a fraud."

I could make many observations, but will offer only one: Nowhere, so far, has Constance even alluded to the man's role in any of this. The assumption appears to be that the burden for a successful marriage lies entirely on the woman. I would love to know what Mr. Constance is like in all of this.

And in case there is any doubt, let me add: As with the horoscopes, this is for entertainment purposes only.

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Judith Mae Andersen

Montrose Harbor, Chicago, Ill., August 1957, showing where a 55-gallon drum and a 5-gallon bucket containing the remains of Judith Mae Andersen, were found.   


Montrose Harbor, 50 years later, from Google Earth.


Note: Investigators eventually determined that the bloody rags and hatchet referred to in the top photo were unrelated to the killing.

Paul V. Coates--Confidential File

Paul_coates Aug. 26, 1957

The first time Johnny contacted me was about a year ago.

He called to tell me that he and this other guy were about to have a showdown over a girl. "The other guy's got a roscoe but I don't care," he said.

The second call was a few months ago--in person. He'd been stamped in a fight and wasn't working. He didn't want a handout. Just some legal advice, which, naturally, I couldn't give him.

Time No. 3 was yesterday.

"Something's gotta be done fast," he told me. "We been trying everything with no go, or I wouldn't bother you."

As he talked, I remembered him as the kid (maybe 22, 23) who had told me he hitchhiked out from New York. He was a graduate of orphanages and institutions and the streets.

"It's not me that needs anything," he said. "It's Mrs. Ryan and Mrs. Cruz."

He stopped talking long enough for me to ask, "What about Mrs. Ryan and Mrs. Cruz?"

Then he started:

"Well, since I seen you last, I been eating. Got a job. Got hurt. Drawing $25 every two weeks. Took this apartment on Hoover, near the university.

"I did things, you know--to make it nice. Now I'm manager. Pay 19 bucks a month instead of 34. Get 15 knocked off for looking after things.

1957_0826 "So walking past the mission the other day, I seen these two women on the sidewalk. Crying. They was holding babies.

"Naturally, I asked them what was the problem. They said the mission was gonna throw them out.

"So I told them to wait.

"And I went and called the landlady. I had a couple open rooms.

"I guess the landlady thinks I'm crazy. In the first place, no women and kids are allowed here. Plus they don't have no money.

"But I talk and talk. I'm good at it. God gave me a mouth to talk. Sometimes it's been the only thing I've ever had. My mouth to talk.

"If I use my hands I get into too many fights.

"So finally I tell the landlady I'll pay the rent if she'll let the kids and women in. I do, too. I pay it.

"That was a couple of weeks ago and they try and get food from the city and county, but they won't give them none. Maybe just a little for a day. And the babies are hungry.

"Every day, Mrs. Cruz's husband looks for work, but he can't read and write and he doesn't talk too good. That makes it tough. I know.

"In the Army I used to write letters for the hillbillies and they used to do my shooting. I don't shoot too good.

"But anyway, I give them some food, and I collect some. Milk, bread, a few cans--things like that.

"But food keeps running out.

"Now rent's overdue again. Food'll be gone tomorrow and they barely got clothes.

"Could take my 20 bucks out of the bank. I suppose I will. But sure hate to. I been saving for quite a while.

I wanna get married and should have a little money. Even now she--my girl--thinks we should wait a while till I get a little better fixed.

"I guess she's right."

Johnny paused for his first breath. But he broke it fast.

"Hey," he said. "You KNOW the girl. Same one I was going to fight over a year ago. Never did fight the guy.

"But--you know what--she's still my girl!"


How to Get--and Keep--a Husband


1957_0826_quiz If it's true that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, then author Kate Constance wants every salmon to have a Schwinn. She's even written a book on the subject, "How to Get and Keep a Husband," which is being serialized in the Mirror.

For Constance, the plight of the "manless woman" is a bitter, hopeless life. Before she landed a husband, she was an outcast at dinner parties where the married guests chatted about their children, houses and cars.

"I was just another working girl with an apartment and a job," she writes. "What did I have in common with their busy, meaningful lives? They wouldn't have hurt me intentionally for anything, but they could not avoid impressing me with the fact that really, after all, I did not belong."

She was humiliated when she tried to charge something at the department store and was told she had a $200 limit ($1,433.06 USD 2006), while married women could run up as big a bill as they liked.

Even worse was the time she and a friend were turned away from a supper club because, "We, my friend and I, were two women without a man!"

And there was the fearful stigma that a single woman with an apartment was a threat to every happy marriage in the building, she said.

Why do unmarried women have such a difficult time? Because their priorities are wrong, wrong, wrong, she said.

"Many single women approach their problem of finding a mate with the wrong attitude," Constance writes." They fail to use their talents for happiness but instead drift into bitter hopelessness, that insidious paralysis of the soul."

Alas, there is no shortage of unsuitable suitors: A woman friend lists her prospects and they are grim indeed. Mr. Inge, for example, is 20 years older. And too fat! Bob isn't good marriage material either--her friend earns more than he does! The man who lives in the country and raises oranges and bees? Mere laughter. "Oh no, not that--not that!"

But that's no excuse. The problem, Constance, emphasizes, is that women are seeking the wrong things.

"A great many are looking for a man with money first; prestige, second; looks, third; love--well last and maybe not at all if money comes along without love," she writes.

Her advice? Use the dateless solitude for reflection.

And don't aim so high, bachelorettes!

"There is no such thing as 'ideal' in choosing a mate," Constance writes. "When a woman sets up a list of requirements beyond basic compatibility she is doomed to single loneliness or married unhappiness. If she carries in her mind a hard-and-fast idea of what she wants and thinks she deserves in a man she probably will fail to find him."

Now the manless woman shouldn't necessarily plan to accomplish her task alone. "For her own wellbeing, the woman with a husband should do everything in her power not only to hold her man but to help her single sisters find husbands of their own," Constance writes. (Presumably by marrying off all the single women on the planet, they will no longer be potential home-wreckers).

Let me summarize again. Constance writes: Don't be so picky! If you only get 50% of what you want, that should be enough!

"If more of our women would see the fallacy of holding out for Mr. Just Right--the man with the nice bank balance, movie star looks, plenty of lovemaking and social position--and put good character, compatibility and industriousness at the top of the requirement list, thousands of our ladies on the sidelines could find happy marriage possible," Constance says.

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