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Matt Weinstock

October 23, 2007 |  4:21 pm

Oct. 23, 1957Matt_weinstockd

The lady, an Ay-Ayer, is sober again, and philosophic.

Not long ago, she slipped, as A-Ayers sometimes do. Finding herself well-soused, with no money left for a cab and little sense of direction, she decided the clink was the place for her.

She hailed the first LAPD black and white free taxi she saw and the officers agreed she should not be loose on the streets.

The judge read the report stating she had voluntarily surrendered and said, "Well, this is a switch!"--and dismissed her.

But on the way out of the courtroom she was detained on a traffic warrant issued on a parking ticket on a 1956 car more than a year ago.

She said there must be some mistake and tried to explain she never owned a 1956 car but in the Traffic Court assembly line her innocent inquiries were mistaken for protest and a desire to plead not guilty.

Upshot was that the judge set a date for a jury trial and she went back to the jailhouse.

1957_1023_ads A week later, she appeared in another court and changed the plea she hadn't made to guilty, the confusion was cleared and the case dismissed.

Her name and a former address were on the ticket all right, and she recalled she'd sold a car about a year ago but it was a 1926 not a 1956 model.

Her advice to everyone: Remove the white registration slip from your car when you sign over the pink slip.

ALTHOUGH Asian flu hasn't hit as hard as anticipated, people are nervous about it. Well, some people, not everyone.

Sema English was waiting her turn at a meat counter when she heard the butcher say to the woman ahead of her, "Aw, this Asian flu isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be. Look at me, I've got a temperature of 104 and here I am, on my feet, working away."

There was no meat for dinner that night at Sema's house.

A WOMAN Ken Christy knows was notified the other day that she had won a contest at the Pomona Fair and the prize was $20 off on a hearing aid.

She was puzzled, then recalled that her little boy had been very busy at the fair collecting pamphlets and filling out forms at various booths.

"Oh," she said, "that must have been my young son."

The caller consulted her notes then said, "Could be. On the questionnaire where we asked what kind of hearing aid you are now using he wrote: 'Ears.' "

THE IMMORTAL Eugene Field (1850-1895) wrote "herein the only royal road to fame and fortune lies: Put not your trust in vinegar--molasses catches flies!"

Not necessarily so, says Dor'y Safford of Malibu. She inadvertently left the top off a bottle of vinegar and next day several dozen flies had committed suicide in the alluring stuff.

Dor'y considers this a world-shaking discovery of deep social significance--even if they were fruit flies, not the ordinary kind.

EVERYONE HAS heard the commercial for tired blood. Well it's having implications.

A lady named Ruth, just returned from a two-week trip to the Midwest, told her husband, "You know, my car runs better since I got home."

He asked how she figured that.

"Haven't you heard of metal fatigue?" she asked.

AROUND TOWN -- A youth was standing at Lincoln and Wilshire boulevards in Santa Monica holding up one hand with thumb extended, holding a book he was reading with the other. A real bookworm... Cat Week International starts Nov. 3, and by way of preparation you should know about Smokey, owned by Mrs. C.W. England, 5061 Cavanaugh Road. Smokey is 21, believed a record age. When he was born Mrs. England marked the date on the calendar and saved the month sheet... Sudden realization while threading through a Temple Street construction zone: The temporary detours today are better than the streets used to be.