The Big Picture

Patrick Goldstein and James Rainey
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Is everybody mocking the summer movies this year?

May 5, 2009 |  2:03 pm


Making fun of the noisy, lunkheaded, special-effects-crammed explosion fests that Hollywood passes off as summer movie fare is such easy sport that even Stephen Colbert was mocking them last night in a special "Movies That Are Destroying America" feature segment.

But no one does it better than Ken Levine, the comedy writer who blogs here when he's not hosting Dodger Talk on KABC 790. Having just spent an evening hearing what a bunch of local teenagers think about the new summer films -- we'll have more on that later -- I couldn't pass up a chance to soak up Levine's annual summer movie preview joke fest. Let's just say he takes few prisoners.

Here's a few highlights:  

"The Hangover": A Vegas bachelor party goes bad. Don't they all?

"Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs": Those who are bothered by the fact that the Ice Age took place millions of years after dinosaurs were extinct should be reminded this is a friggin' cartoon!

"X-Men Origins: Wolverine": How Hugh Jackman got his steel fangs. Great action sequence where he tries to put in a contact lens.

"Drag Me to Hell": Alison Lohman as a callous bank executive who is tortured by a brutal demon. To me this is the feel-good movie of the summer.

"Up": A cranky old man (Ed Asner) rigs balloons to his house and flies to South America. And gets there faster than if he flew Delta.

"Angels & Demons": Tom Hanks. Prequel to DA VINCI CODE. This time he uncovers Jesus' early text messages.

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen": Because not enough toys were sold at Burger King with the first one.

"Dance Flick": A send-up of dance movies not by the Wayans brothers, but by the Wayans brothers' kids. That could be like going to a Frank Sinatra Jr. concert.

"Star Trek": How it all began, before Captain Kirk gained a hundred pounds and became a shill for Leonard Nimoy stars but not William Shatner. There wasn't enough velour to make his uniform.

Here's Colbert at his best, taking a scalpel to some of the dumbest of the summer dumb-fests:

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Photo of Zachary Quinto, left,  and Chris Pine in "Star Trek" from Paramount / ILM