Friends in the Facebook age
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‘Friend me,’ someone said to me, as I left a party a few weeks ago.
When it comes to Facebook, to ‘friend’ someone has become a verb, just like to ‘google’ something. And who wouldn’t want ‘friend’ to be a verb? The act of becoming friends -- the war-torn, weary world needs more of this, no?
Well, being friends on Facebook has its advantages and drawbacks.
In the advantages column: Instant connection to a network of friends and relatives. A way to catch up with people you’ve been out of touch with for years, and vice versa. Schmoozing with bosses who can help your career. An easy method for inviting people to events and groups. And, honestly, it’s just cool to learn about people’s interests, hobbies and tastes.
The drawbacks? Oh, I don’t know. People you hardly know suddenly have access to your e-mail address, your work information, the identities of your other friends, the ability to read what they say about you on your Facebook wall and follow every virtual move you make. Plus, the boy from eighth grade who had a crush on you may want to, say, visit you from four states away.
Many companies encourage social networking among their employees, meaning everyone -- the secretaries, the salespeople, the suits -- has a Facebook page. It’s very Web 2.0 to be ...
... ever so connected. However, in an online arena where the executive vice president of your company and the dude you met last night at the bar end up in the same corral, well, that could be a recipe for disaster.
I have had acquaintances I hardly know ask me about the tiniest details of my Facebook page. And between Facebook, instant messenger and Twitter, it is easy to track where and when someone is online, at any given moment.
I am sure Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s young chief executive, would tell me to change my privacy settings if I am so concerned with being private. But beyond the settings, the rules of engagement on Facebook can sometimes surprise and confuse you.
Is it appropriate to ask a co-worker why his or her status went from ‘married’ to ‘single’ over the long weekend?
If you notice that someone is no longer listed as ‘single,’ is OK to ask about whom they hooked up with?
If someone leaves an ominous or just plain funky Facebook status message, and it piques your curiosity or concern for them, do you ask about it?
For that matter, are Facebook status messages becoming cries for help from some users? ‘John Doe is barely hanging on.’ ‘Jane Doe is really, really hurting and could use a phone call.’
As social networking continues to connect and consume our lives, I am waiting to see the next incarnation of this trend. And while I watch it all evolve, I’ll continue to contemplate whether to let the boy from eighth grade come for a visit.
-- Lori Kozlowski
Kozlowski is a Times staff writer.