Does Facebook make you older?

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There is a new, silent enemy of middle-age people –- Facebook.

For the last few years I have kept my birthday very quiet. Why would I want to announce to the world that I’m another year older (and as the old song goes, “deeper in debt,” given the economic meltdown)? So I normally spend my birthday in anonymous bliss, sharing the secret only with people I know will give me presents.

But by the time I woke up this morning, I had already received e-mails from across the country, wishing me a “Happy” day, thus ensuring that I would spend the day contemplating all the things I have not accomplished as time ticks away. It didn’t take long to trace the culprit –- Facebook -- which had automatically proclaimed to my “friends” on the service that the annual day of dread had arrived.

On behalf of middle-age folk everywhere, I’m contemplating a class-action suit. Not to be confused with a birthday suit.

-- David Colker

Times staff writer David Colker covers consumer issues for the Business section.