Steven Tyler hits on Joe Magrane’s daughter on ‘American Idol’
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So I’m watching ‘American Idol’ Wednesday night (because I’m an almost middle-aged married guy and that’s how we roll) when a 6-foot-tall girl named Shannon appears on screen to audition. I no sooner think ‘wonder if she plays sports’ when she tells the judges, and America, that she is the daughter of former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Joe Magrane.
You could tell from the reaction of the judges, Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson, that they have no idea who Joe Magrane is. But they smile and say ‘wonderful’ and ask her to go back out and bring her father back with her. Magrane walks in with about seven other women of Amazonian size, apparently his wife and the rest of his daughters. The poor guy must never see the inside of the bathroom in his house.
The three judges all pretend they are excited to meet a guy who has pitched in the World Series. In fact, Randy says ‘World Series’ about a dozen times, as if trying to jog his memory as to what the World Series is.
Then, Magrane asks a fateful question to Steven Tyler. ‘How are things....?’ he says.
‘Hot, humid and happenin’, just like your daughter,’ Tyler replies. The world seemingly comes to a stop as Magrane gives Tyler a look that would have killed any non-rock star. You can actually see the wheels spinning in Magrane’s head as he debates whether he should end his daughter’s chance of making the show and just deck Tyler right away. He doesn’t. By the way, did I mention the girl Tyler said that about is 15 years old? Awkward.
But it all had a happy ending, as Shannon earned a golden ticket to Hollywood. And what could go wrong? A hot, humid, happenin’ daughter in Hollywood for a week with Steven Tyler. Nothing to worry about at all.
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-- Houston Mitchell