Lisa Guerrero: Tricks & Treats

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Two-time Cy Young Award winner Brett Saberhagen threw a Halloween party on Saturday night (pictured at right), so that got me into the mood for a little sports-themed trick or treating. Here goes …

Trick: Fox’s coverage of Sunday’s Game 4 of the World Series kept losing its signal at significant times during the game. Conveniently, for those suffering from erectile dysfunction, the Cialis commercials and DirectTV ads showing Christie Brinkley were not affected.

Treat: Philly Phans rejoice. Victories over the weekend include the Flyers, the Eagles and now the Phillies are up three games to one. Clearly the pressure’s really on the Sixers this Wednesday versus Toronto. I kid.

Trick: The joke is on any team that trots out Sarah Palin to drop the puck. On Oct. 11 the Flyers did it, lost that night on their way to six defeats in a row. Then, on Friday night, the Blues rolled her out and then lost to the Kings. So let me get this straight: You march out the Hockey Mom, she gets booed, then your team loses. This bodes well for Barack.

Treat: Did ya’ get a load of Jeanne Zelasko’s Jessica Simpson costume? It was awesome (my husband just informed me that it was not a costume)! Didn’t she used to have short brown hair and was tom-boyishly good-looking? She’s been Fox-ified and I should know. The photographic evidence is seen here. Yes, both are me. At far left, before being Fox-fied. And the other, well, you get the idea. Laugh if you must, but I obviously missed the perfect opportunity for a Halloween costume: Ugly Betty.

Trick: NBC waves the white flag. The network completely gives up and pulls ‘Sunday Night Football’ from its schedule due to the World Series. They air the ’40 Year Old Virgin’ instead (which is what I would’ve been if I hadn’t been Fox-ified).

Treat: Texas Tech kicker Matt Williams went 6-for-6 on PATs on Saturday. Why is this a big deal? He got the job by coming out of the stands earlier this season and winning a field goal contest during a timeout. He won a month’s free rent. Who should Hollywood cast as Matt when they make the (inevitable) movie?

Trick: After hearing Ken Rosenthal’s dry delivery of a wet subject (Jamie Moyer’s sweat) during Game 4, I added on one more reason to the long list of why I’m no longer a sideline reporter. I very much doubt that I could’ve delved so deeply into the matter by asking Mrs. Moyer how many sheets, comforters and pillows he sweated through. Nor could I have delivered that important information with a straight face. What a pro.

Treat: Harry Kalas reading the Phillies’ starting lineup for Game 4.

Trick: Evan Longoria and Carlos Pena have been ice cold during the Series, going 0 for 29 with 15 strikeouts between them. Evan also got beat by his good buddy, Eva. The ‘Desperate Housewives’ had a higher Nielsen rating last night than that game did.

Treat: Deanna Favre joins the blog nation! Remember the good ol’ days when players’ wives and girlfriends used to call sports radio stations to defend the honor of our men? That was soooo ‘80s. Now, we’ve gone viral. Deanna’s weekend post lashes out at the media for their “hurtful” reports of Brett’s recent dust-up regarding Playbook-gate.

Trick: Can Fox please do Ken Rosenthal a favor and break out a booster chair for his postgame interviews? He’s always conducting those things from seemingly south of the player’s belt buckle.

Treat: Best couple’s costume at Brett Saberhagen’s Halloween party: A blond (!) Mark Gubicza as David Beckham and his leather-clad wife, Lisa, as Posh Spice. I wanted to go as Sarah Palin, but Scott refused to be Joe the Plumber. Bummer.

-- Lisa Guerrero

Lisa Guerrero has covered Super Bowls, the NBA Finals and the World Series, along with the Oscars, Emmys and Grammys. As an actress, she has appeared on ‘Frasier’ and ‘The George Lopez Show’ and as Billy Baldwin’s long-suffering wife in the film ‘A Plumm Summer,’ which she executive-produced.

Top photo: Brett Saberhagen as Jack Sparrow, Lisa Guerrero and Scott Erickson as pirates at Sabes’ costume party Saturday night.