Lisa Guerrero: Father’s Day
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From the moment little boys first lace up their cleats, break in their gloves and head off to practice they are taught to play hard, listen to their coaches and, above all else, don’t cry.
When they strike out swinging, drop the ball in center field or scrape their knee sliding into third, they are warned not to shed a tear.
Crying is for girls. Or for sissies.
Boys hear stuff like, ‘Big boys don’t cry’ or ‘Take it like a man’ or ‘There’s no crying in baseball.’ Americans, especially, don’t like our athletes displaying much emotion --certainly not tears.
In fact, Latin ballplayers, particularly pitchers, are often derided for being too emotional on the mound. And how about those crazy European soccer players? They flop around like drama queens and even go so far as to weep on the pitch after a win or loss.
Of course, this makes sense. An athlete who can control his emotions and focus solely on the task at hand can concentrate on getting rid of the ball calmly during a blitz or getting the next batter out after having given up a home run. After all, these guys can’t break down after a sack or a missed jump shot. Suck it up, move on.
Because sports is such an important part of our identity as a nation, its lessons and culture bleed over into other parts of American life as well.
Like politics.
Last night’s vice presidential debate was anticipated like a heavyweight prize fight. Pundits discussed ‘the matchup,’ who would deliver the most significant ‘blows’ and would there be a ‘knockout?’ Scores are kept, playbooks prepared and, eventually, one candidate would be deemed ‘the winner.’
It was a great surprise then when the most significant moment of the night came not when the woman showed up and talked tough, but when the man showed emotion and choked up. It was an honest, unscripted and heart-wrenching display that hardly ever happens in politics, much less on live TV.
Joe Biden defended his paternal love by saying that ‘just because I am a man’ he wouldn’t understand the devastation of possibly losing a child in a life-threatening situation. He was referring to the tragic car accident that killed his wife and daughter and left both of his sons seriously injured.
In 1972, a similar display of emotion ended Edmund Muskie’s presidential campaign. Voters didn’t respond well to his perceived lack of strength while defending his wife from political attacks.
But interestingly in last night’s debate, quite the opposite was true for Biden. The undecided voters in both the CNN and CBS polls scored that moment incredibly high for the senator from Delaware. That moment was particularly moving for fathers and those of us that were raised by single dads.
My mom died of cancer when she was 29 years old and left my father a young widower faced with raising my little brother and I alone. We were 8 and 6. When I get done writing this, I’m going to call my dad to ask if that was as moving for him as it was for me.
It’s unfair to assume that women have the monopoly on parental love or concern or even emotion.
I hope that while America’s sons enjoyed watching the Boys in Blue potentially seal the deal for the series, they were able to flip the channel and see a man whose brief emotional moment may have sealed the deal for the election.
Lisa Guerrero has covered Super Bowls, NBA championships and the World Series, along with the Oscars, Emmys and Grammys. As an actress, she has appeared on ‘Frasier,’ ‘The George Lopez Show,’ and as Billy Baldwin’s long-suffering wife in the family film ‘A Plumm Summer,’ which she executive produced.
Top photo: Democratic vice presidential candidate Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) is overcome by emotion during the vice presidential debate Thursday night. Credit: David McNew / Getty Images