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‘Monday Night Raw’ recap: Brock Lesnar destroys John Cena

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John Cena, let’s recap your week so far.

On Sunday, in a match you have said for weeks you must win, you lose to The Rock in the biggest pay-per-view event of the year, WrestleMania XVIII.

On Monday, you walk to the ring on ‘Monday Night Raw,’ somewhat humbled by your loss. You have your new T-shirt on, the one that looks like you had an unfortunate accident with a bowl of split-pea soup. You take the microphone and congratulate The Rock on his victory. You ask him to come to the ring so you can shake his hand.

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But wait. What’s that? The Rock doesn’t come out. Instead, out comes Brock Lesnar -- former WWE champion, former UFC heavyweight champion, who hasn’t been seen in a WWE ring in years.

The crowd goes crazy. Grown men are on their feet, jumping up and down like giddy schoolchildren. You start applauding Lesnar too, glad that such a big name has come back to WWE.

Lesnar enters the ring and extends his hand. Great, you think to yourself, finally someone who doesn’t hate me. You shake Lesnar’s hand, but he picks you up and lays you out with his devastating F5 finishing maneuver. The crowd goes ballistic.

You are John Cena, and your day ends with you writhing in pain in the middle of the ring, as yet another big star from the past has decided he wants to destroy you.

And it’s only Monday. Good luck the rest of the week, John. Good luck.

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-- Houston Mitchell

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