Late Night: Stephen Colbert wants to skinny-dip with George Clooney
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that everybody wants to party with George Clooney -- especially Stephen Colbert.
The host kicked off his Wednesday show with a segment in which he begged Clooney for an invite to his Italian villa. For the (faux) arrogant Colbert, it was difficult to admit that he had yet to befriend Clooney.
‘It must seem as though all us celebrities know each other. I bet you think somewhere Jerry Seinfeld is having cocktails with Taylor Lautner and Magic Johnson. Kate Winslet is whale-hunting with Tom Hanks,’ he said. ‘Well, I’m here to tell you folks: It’s all true. As a famous person, I know all other famous people except for one: George Clooney.’
Colbert admitted that he’s ‘often fantasized’ about partying at Clooney’s famed palazzo on Lake Como, but it looks like another late-night egghead beat him to the punch. He played a clip from Tuesday’s ‘Conan’ in which Marisa Tomei talked about skinny-dipping in Lake Como with Evan Rachel Wood, Cindy Crawford ... and PBS talk-show host Charlie Rose. (No, really.)
Feeling slighted, Colbert vented his frustration with Clooney. ‘What? Seriously? ...You invited Charlie ‘’I’m Too Boring to Compete With a Background’ Rose to party at your villa and not me? How could you? It should have been my body glistening in the Italian moonlight. Why am I even doing crunches?’
Adding insult to injury, it turns out that Rose isn’t the only TV commentator who’s gotten the coveted golden ticket. CNN political analyst David Gergen recently told Parade magazine about the night he got ‘hammered’ and -- you guessed it -- went skinny-dipping with Clooney.
Colbert was baffled. ‘David here gets to go to Lake Como and dip his ‘Gergen’ and not me? What the hell is going on, Clooney? You’re a middle-aged pundit-chaser.’
Begging for an invite, Colbert promised to be the most dedicated skinny-dipper of all time: ‘I will drop trou and scramble over any fence!’
To sweeten the pot, he ended the segment with a joke that left-leaning Clooney would no doubt enjoy. ‘Right now the only invitation is another loofah party at O’Reilly’s, and I’m the only person who ever shows up.’
‘The Colbert Report’ from Lake Como? George, just make it happen.
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-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake