‘America’s Got Talent’ results: Smurfs, Stevie Nicks, but no real shockers

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Smurfs! Stevie Nicks! Strangely timed eliminations! What a weird ‘America’s Got Talent’ results show.

There was nothing terribly surprising about the four acts that made it through to the ‘AGT’ semifinals Wednesday night: Sinatra singer Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., the band of youngsters called Poplyfe and operatic beauty Lys Agnes, along with death-defying belly-flopper Professor Splash. And maybe that’s why the producers seemed to feel they had to work extra hard to generate suspense.

First they faked us out, lining up cheesy cheerleaders Purrfect Angelz, stellar yo-yoer Ian Johnson and acrobatic rope-jumpers Summerwind Skippers only to announce -- after a long pause, of course -- that none of them had made it through.

OK, that was a little surprising. But then they tried to fake us out again, calling Murphy and Poplyfe to the stage, presumably so that one of them could be eliminated. But was anyone shocked to learn that both of those acts would be going through? Or to learn that, out of a group that included novelty act Mauricio Herrera, creepy sideshow couple Captain & Maybelle, note-missing 12-year-old singer Monet and the gorgeous Agnes, who did not miss a vocal or stylistic note on Tuesday night, it was Agnes who would be moving on to the semifinals?

And surely, once we had to endure the discomfort of watching the three adorable tykes (ages 5, 6 and 7) known as the SH’Boss Boys deprived of their dreams (Where were their mommies? And how sad was it to watch that one little boy jump up and down, thinking that the group had won, as one of his groupmates hollered ‘No!’?), did anyone really think the judges would put through disappointing illusionist (disillusionist?) Seth Grabel instead of rewarding the unusual Professor Splash for setting a world record live on their show?

On Tuesday night, Grabel had promised boiling tar and had delivered fluff. The Splashman had jumped from three stories into a foot of water; he had the bruises to prove it. The judges dutifully followed their split-decision script (as they had the script for the Smurf plug that kicked off the show), but really, it was no contest.

At the end of the day, the only real shocker Wednesday night (aside from how great Stevie Nicks, for whom ‘America’s Got Talent’ Season 5 winner Michael Grimm will open on her tour this summer, looks and sounds at age 63) is just how canned this ‘surprising’ results show came off.

What did you think?

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-- Amy Reiter