‘Sons of Anarchy’: Stephen King is one creepy dude

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Until this week’s episode, my favorite ‘Sons’ guest star had been Henry Rollins, who, incidentally, DJs the best radio show in L.A. on KCRW. This week’s creepy Stephen King cameo, however, rivals Rollins for my props. The king of macabre fiction spends just a few minutes on screen as ‘Bachman,’ a cleaner who’s been called in to dispose of the Guatemalan caregiver, who was offed in yet another unsavory and unplanned stabbing. But King’s few minutes are sticky, both memory- and plot-wise.

Riding up on his red Hog, Bachman looks like a basement dweller who rarely sees the light of day or, for that matter, other living humans. He is pale, thin-lipped, unsmiling. His demeanor is dry to the point of being unpersonable -- exactly what you’d expect for a guy who’ll make a body disappear for a scant $1,600.

At first, I wasn’t sure what Bachman would be doing when he felt up the dead woman’s body and looked in her mouth. Was he a necrophiliac? More likely, he was just checking to see if her rack was real and if she had any fillings that might interfere with his plan to ‘disappear’ her voluptuous, and now rigor-mortised, bod.

Intrigued by the shopping list he handed Tig and Gemma, I did some research to see what Bachman might have requested to get rid of the body. Several websites pointed to Drano, lye and Coca-Cola as easy-to-get items for dissolving a body into a gel that could be flushed down a drain. Many referenced John George Haig, a.k.a. the acid bath murderer -- a British serial killer who purportedly dissolved five people between 1944 and 1948 using sulfuric acid.

A prolific writer, King surely has lots to do, especially with the upcoming release of his latest, ‘Full Dark, No Stars.’ Hopefully he can carve out some time to return to ‘Sons’ for another creepy cleaning.

-- Susan Carpenter