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'Real Housewives of New York City': Reunion recap, Part 2 of three

June 15, 2010 |  8:00 am

Ever wondered what witnessing a public stoning would be like? Well, if you tuned in for Part 2 of "The Real Housewives of New York City" reunion, there was no need to wonder. The casualty wore a black dress and teal-colored suede pumps (which, if you happen to know where I can get a pair, please make use of the comments section). Her name? Jill Zarin. Her crime: a season's worth of catty behavior. Host Andy Cohen had a few of the stones -- courtesy of die-hard viewers (and Jill critics) everywhere -- lined up on his handy little flash cards. The ladies sitting nearby supplied the other stones.

And so it was. The miniseries-esque reunion laid out Jill’s many missteps and questionable behavior for all to poke and prod. Whether she contended that she's always her friends' "biggest cheerleader" in the face of accusations that she tried to sabotage Bethenny’s spinoff show or tried to justify -- and apologize for -- how she dealt with news of Bethenny's father's death, it provided minute upon minute of cringe-worthy and "who is she kidding?" moments. And a few attempts by Jill to walk off the set. If I could roll the tape as evidence, I would.  I don't know if, at this point, there's any way she can recover from the backlash. There's no skating around it -- even if she rents out the rink and twirls in a hot pink outfit. 

But it wasn't all sticks and stones.  

The intentional comedic relief -- sorry, Kelly! -- Sonja Morgan, finally joined the mix to stir the drink with her straw self.  Only she didn't even get a chance to do much stirring because attention shifted to lollipop-loving Kelly, who apparently moonlights as a spokesperson against bullies when she's not burning pancakes or warming up her vocal cords for all those high-pitched "Hi-yeeeeees."

It finally came time to get some answers on the wacky girls trip in St. John, only Kelly's answer was almost as nutty as her behavior on the trip (which Bravo was kind enough to rehash, I'm guessing, in case Jill were to demand evidence). So what was Kelly's reasoning for all the yapping about satchels of gold, cartwheels and jellybeans? She was a victim of "systematic bullying." Feel free to check if that was an epidemic in the year 1979. I know I did. 

Kelly claimed that Bravo forced her to go on the trip -- which Andy repeatedly denied -- and that she contended that she doesn't consider her behavior a breakdown, but rather a breakthrough. She went on to say her involvement was meant, in her mind (the one where gummy bears aren't processed candies), to serve as a public-service announcement for victims of bullying. Again, if I could roll a tape for evidence, I would.

Cue a mentally exhausted Bethenny saying, "This is not a normal person. It’s like talking to Humpty Dumpty," as a frustrated Kelly made her way off set.

To be continued (again).

Other notable moments:

-- When Jill was asked why she had saved Bethenny's infamous voice mail for two months, Jill didn't have an answer, but Kelly did: "Maybe she wanted to hear [Bethenny's] voice."  Was her mind like mid-cartwheel or something? My mind hit a virtual glass door when she said that. Satchels of gold! Satchels of gold!

-- I'm not usually a fan of reunion shows just rehashing footage from the season, but I thoroughly enjoyed the look back at some of the best zingers from the season.  My favorites: "Diarrhea of the mouth is not a real ailment," "Mountain out of a holemill" (FYI, I would totally pay any amount of money to take a class in Ramonics) and Kelly's head-scratching Robin-Batman metaphor.

-- The lack of voice time for LuAnn -- although she did try.

-- Sonja's legitimate concern that one-night-stand-fearing Kelly isn't having enough sex. Maybe if Kelly popped in Barry White's -- er, LuAnn's -- CD, finding a companion wouldn't be so difficult.

So what did you think of part two of the reunion, ShowTrackers?  Can Jill recover from the hostile response to her behavior this season? Was anyone else disappointed that the clip of Ramona's catwalk debut wasn't playing on loop? If Kelly is like Humpty Dumpty, are the unprocessed ingredients of jellybeans and lollipops enough to put her back together again?  Share your thoughts in the comments section.

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: Bethenny Frankel, Andy Cohen and Jill Zarin. Credit: Bravo.