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'America's Next Top Model': The women vamp it up

April 1, 2010 |  9:12 am
Americas-next-top-model-cw-alasia In this episode of “America’s Next Top Model,” the women learn how to deal with being placed on the spot and they have to come up with bloody beautiful shots.

Last week, Tyra told Brenda that she wasn’t edgy enough and warned her that she would be going through another “transformation.” As the show opens, Brenda, a.k.a Chucky, is obsessing over what that could mean. She still hasn’t gotten used to her first “Ty-over”! I have no idea what Tyra plans for her, but I hope it’s not bald. That would be just frightening. She would not carry that as well as Naduah did.

Fake it until you make it

Miss J. Alexander meets up with the women at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater, so they can learn about improvisation. According to Miss J., models have to know how to adapt to different, sometimes odd, requests made of them. “Curb Your Enthusiasm’s” J.B. Smoove hosts and he picks the contestants out in random order to do their own improvs. Brenda confused Miss J. while she was supposed to be changing a tractor tire. Alasia just did Alasia. She was really high-energy with very little understanding of how she was coming off. Simone did this confusing skit riding a horse while depressed. It was a good effort. The thing about Simone is that she thinks way too much instead of just going for it. Anslee’s skit in which she was supposedly washing a car just went forever, and it was hilarious how quiet the place was. That imaginary car is spotless, people.

After the challenge, hair stylist Sally Hershberger makes a house call to “edge out” Brenda’s hair. Brenda wonders if they’ll  be shaving her head. I think I was just as scared as Brenda when Sally said maybe. Sally ends up shaving the sides and giving her a female version of the fauxhawk, or basically Simone’s hair.

It’s funny that Brenda and Simone both have the same haircut now, because I’m really over both of them. Brenda is constantly complaining. Simone is constantly bragging about her academic success compared to modeling. Both of them are grating on my nerves.

Live from Times Square

In the first challenge, actress Dania Ramirez tells the women that they’ll be doing Cover Girl commercials, but they’ll be using voice-overs, so there will be no memorization of lines. That means the girls will have to use their newly learned improvisational skills and have their personalities shine through. The catch? They’re immediately going into the commercials, which will play live on the large JumboTron in Times Square. Did anyone else think this challenge was a snore-fest? The fact that the winner was Tatianna, who was basically the only one who didn’t just stand there with the product, speaks volumes.

After the competition, Anslee and Alasia get into it. OK, Alasia, I know you bring the crazy, but don’t bring up someone’s mothering skills. On the other hand, did anyone see how Anslee’s eyes glazed over right before she went nuts on Alasia after the mothering comment? Ooh, that was not pretty.

Vamping it up

In the photo-shoot competition, “Top Model” goes vampire when Jay Manuel shows up dressed like Marilyn Manson and Neo from “The Matrix’s” love child. Oh, he’s a vampire. Got it. How could I have missed it? (Please read my sarcasm.)

The women all get big hair and white contact lenses that basically blind them. All the contestants are rolling with it until it’s Brenda’s turn. She can’t handle putting the lenses into her eyes. Once they’re in, she’s freaked out by the blindness. Even Jay has to go back there and check on her. Once in the photo shoot, though, she gets into it. Drama queen. Alasia rocks it. Simone struggled at first. It took a lot of direction from Jay before she started catching on. My favorite was Jessica. I thought her girl-next-door looks made her appear like someone a vampire would definitely want to ruin.

Blood, sweat and tears

Americas-next-top-model-cw-simoneIn the elimination, Dania Ramirez joins the panel. My favorite in the photo shoot, Jessica, got mixed reviews. They all loved Alasia. Simone got a universal thumbs down from the judges. Tyra said Krista’s face looked like she was smelling “dooky,” which made me laugh. Raina, once again, really impressed the judges, though I don’t believe it was her best photo. I could barely see her face, since she was looking down.

Spotlight on Anslee for a second: Is she not Ms. Excuse or what? In the commercial, she said she couldn’t hear Dania. Then when the judging panel hated her photo, she threw Jay and the photographer under the bus. And if I have to hear about her being a mother again? I know plenty of young mothers, Anslee, and I don’t believe wisdom has suddenly been granted to you because you gave birth. I mean, hello, MTV’s “16 and Pregnant”?

Back to the elimination. Did Andre just say he can see Brenda as a housewife? That’s so spot-on. The winner for best photo is once again Alasia! Wow, she’s on a roll. She’s taking great photos now, but I just need her personal style and behavior to come off more model-like. In the bottom two we have Anslee and Simone. Tyra tells Anslee that her photos are falling apart and that she’s too full of excuses. She tells Simone that she just isn’t pushing enough in her photos. Tyra doesn’t like a gal who isn’t showing passion for the win, which is why I believe the judges kept Anslee and sent Simone home.

My top three are still Raina, Jessica and Angelea.

Who are your current favorites? Did you agree with the judges sending Simone home?

For next week: I’m interviewing the eliminated Simone. If you have a question for her, please leave it in the comments section below.

— Jethro Nededog (follow me on Twitter @TheRealJethro)


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Top photo: Alasia's winning photo in this week's "America's Next Top Model." Bottom photo: The photo that sent Simone home this week. Credit: Pottle Productions