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‘Nurse Jackie’: The world’s greatest smoke detector

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Jackie was wrong.

Can this be? After an entire season of always having the right answer or quick save, Jackie messed up. Her mistake ended up big enough that she had to face the consequences. No escape. About time.

Jackie’s day started off with a little light ironing and pills hidden in Easter eggs. Seriously, though, what an awesome hiding spot. You can’t find Easter eggs half the time when you’re looking for them. What are the chances you’ll accidentally find one in September?

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Jackie comes to the kitchen with her daughter’s school uniform finely pressed and her own mind comfortably numb only to learn the reason her morning ironing took so long was because Grace has picked up the habit of waking up in the middle of the night to unplug appliances. I might have to side with Grace on this one. If Jackie’s leaving the iron plugged in overnight, maybe her daughter should be doing the second sweep.

Also turns out Grace has been saving up her allowance to buy the world’s greatest smoke detector. Jackie tells her no. That allowances are for things like stickers. I know what you’re trying to do, Jackie, but don’t pass up the chance to teach Grace the virtue of saving. In the future of our economy, people who know how to save are going to be treated like people who know where dry land is in “Waterworld.”

With the help of some truly awful “Sex and the City” music, Jackie escapes to All Saints. She’s much better at taking care of the children there.

First up: Dr. O’Hara. Mourning her mother’s death, she went out clubbing like a 20-year-old and scored a little Ecstasy. Jackie manages to set her up with a bed and some fluids and bribes her with Thor’s trashy magazines to sign off on a bunch of charts. Point: Jackie.

Next up: Sam. Our newly sober new hire notices Jackie caring for O’Hara and stops in to evaluate. Recently freed of dugs himself, Sam has become a user detector. This is building up to be a very interesting dynamic. Jackie has shown again and again that she’s excellent at concealing her drug use, but Sam knows the tricks, and he’s eager to find other users to save. He just needs to be careful about pointing his user detector at Zoey. Confessions of Dramamine at Six Flags only gunk up the system.

Speaking of Zoey, she has a busy day herself. After arriving at the tail end of what may have been a walk of shame, Zoey picks up a nice scarf from the whacked-out O’Hara and ends up witnessing God getting hit by a bottle. Not God God. God, the crazy guy who yells down at passersby from his window. God’s rushed into All Saints, where Zoey helps him to the realization that he’s not God with hilarious results.

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But back to Jackie and her biggest challenge of the night: Coop. He, like so many, has taken to Twitter. Though I think all his tweets end with “BTCYRN Glarin@me.”

Jackie has no time for Twitter or for dealing with idiots tweeting. She’s covering for Thor’s missing eye and quietly getting a psyche referral for Grace. She’s also trying to help a young couple find out if their son has cystic fibrosis. Coop’s the attending on the case, but Jackie wants things done her way. When she can’t get the preliminary test findings without Coop’s OK, she guilts a new mother into giving up the info.

Jackie sends the family home with the knowledge that their son is fine while Coop’s off trying to squeeze medical jargon into 140 characters.

Only Jackie is wrong.

The preliminaries are just that. Preliminary. The final results confirm the boy has cystic fibrosis.

Jackie sends them home to celebrate and now they have to learn the truth. She decides they’ll hear it from her. Jackie actually has to face some consequences for her actions. They don’t show Jackie making the call, but it warms my heart to think about it. I’ll take my small victory in the battle of Jackie’s accountability.

Looks like she’ll be dealing with more consequences soon, anyway. After getting out of the hospital for his not-quite suicide attempt, Eddie heads to Kevin’s bar to feed his Jackie obsession the only way he can. He drinks with Kevin and pumps him for information on his wife. Eddie knows how to make friends. He raves about Beer Nuts and offers up game tickets. He’s worming his way into Jackie’s life any way he can, and when she finds out ... this season could be pretty interesting.

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-- Andrew Hanson

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