‘The Hills’: What happens in Vegas ends up on national television

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The line between what’s real and what’s fake on ‘The Hills’ has really begun to blur. Are Justin Bobby and Kristin truly into each other?

I’ve become completely perplexed by their relationship. It can’t be legitimate, right? It seems so fake! Just last week, Kristin was going after her ex, Brody, until he shot her down and got back together with Jayde. So maybe Kristin gets angry and wants to spite him by getting together with JB, who she knows is totally obsessed with her, though he’d never admit it.

Still, she opts to head off on a ‘girls trip’ to Vegas with Stacie. By the way, were we honestly meant to believe that Kristin was really even driving her BMW? I saw both of her hands off the steering wheel for nearly the entire scene that the girls were approaching the Strip.

After they arrive, they begin unpacking, and Stacie holds up one miniature sequined top after the next.

‘Why does everything I own look like baby clothes?’ Stacie muses. I wasn’t aware babies dress like strippers.

But later, Kristin emerges onto the balcony of the club at the Palms hotel -- where, shocker, she’s standing in a perfectly lit spot overlooking all of Vegas -- and leaves Justin this uncharacteristically needy voice mail about how she ‘should be having the time of [her] life’ but Justin’s name keeps ‘popping up’ in her head. At first, I chalked things up to alcohol -- and didn’t put it out of the question that no one was on the other end of the call. (Remember when Lauren admitted that Spencer had never actually called her to apologize about the sex tape rumor last season -- no one was on the other end of the line? Sketchy.)

But then things get interesting at the strip club, where I was surprised at how much MTV allowed on the episode. Things get pretty racy in Sin City when Stacie, Kristin and JB attend a classy gentleman’s establishment complete with Lucite heels. First, the two girls share a quick kiss on the lips that seems produced only for show. Then, a stripper whips her top off and shimmies right up in Kristin’s face as she appears mortified, laughing hysterically. Kristin again appears drunk and needy, actually engaging in PDA with Justin left and right and oscillating between kissing Stacie on the lips and Justin on the lips.

And when they wake up the next morning in bed together, hung over, they are looking at one another as though they really like one another. Kristin seems really happy Justin showed up, and Justin still seems to be reveling in the fact that he may have finally scored such a cute girl.

I’m so confused. During the beginning of the season, this whole thing seemed like a complete showmance. And it probably is -- it’s rumored that Kristin is now seeing Tal Cooperman, another of Audrina’s exes. Still, sometimes even my over-skeptical self believes that against all odds, I’m actually seeing a spark between the two.

Speaking of bizarre relationships, it’s unfortunate that Spencer’s (only?) friend Charlie has taken on a bigger role this season. His mustache is totally creepy, he abbreviates, and he doesn’t seem like the right dude to be giving baby advice. Nonetheless, he and Spencer randomly meet at the carwash to discuss Heidi’s secret evil plan to get knocked up.

‘You can look it up on YouTube, post-sex baby-making acrobatics,’ Charlie advises Spencer. ‘She probably sleeps with two pillows under her and a triangle wedge.’

Doubtful.

Charlie then suggests Spencer take Heidi out for ‘sushe’ at Katsuya to see if she’ll drink alcohol or eat mercury-laden fish. She doesn’t, which throws Spencer into a frenzy. Although I have to admit that the whole thought that Heidi would try to get preggo behind Spencer’s back is pretty preposterous, what’s very believable is how terrified Spencer is of spawning offspring in his mid-20s.

I can’t believe next week is already the season finale! Sad. What did you think of Justin and Kristin’s Vegas rendezvous? Are they going to opt to really be together on the season finale? And is there any remote chance that Heidi could actually be pregnant? Chime in in the comments section below.

-- Amy Kaufman (follow me on Twitter @AmyKinLA)

Photo: Are Kristin Cavallari and Justin Bobby just playing around -- or are they for real? Credit: MTV

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