‘90210’: Five burning questions from the season so far

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Aren’t you happy you stuck with “90210” for its sophomore season? I’ve even witnessed some of the most curmudgeonly of TV writers proclaim their surprise at the show’s successful makeover. It would seem that as the producers have finally accepted that “90210’s” California location is an asset (not just another reason it isn’t “Gossip Girl”), the cast has relaxed into their roles as stylish, gorgeous, beach loving and dramatic L.A. rich kids as well. What’s not to like about that?

This week’s repeat episode of the premiere is a bummer, but it does allow us to ruminate over the first quarter-season’s dirtiest plots and love affairs. It also allows us a moment away from the distraction of the pretty flashing lights (also known as TV) to go over some of the unanswered questions of the season, so far.

Here are my top five burning questions of “90210’s” first seven episodes this season:

1. What is under Liam’s tarp?
On the surface, Liam is the best advertisement for sending your delinquent kid to military camp. The most violent thing he has done all season is breaking a glass door during a fight with Jen. Last season’s Liam would’ve broken three glass doors in one episode. This season, I was baffled by his self-control. That is until Teddy’s yacht party in Episode 3 when Annie lied (not convincingly) to Naomi that she not only slept with Liam that night but that they were having an affair at the time.

That episode ends with Liam shuffling through blueprints. Later in the season, the guys are playing pool at Liam’s place and there’s something under a tarp that he won’t let the guys see. What could it be? A bomb? Will the season finale be a blast, literally? A motorcycle sidecar that will win back Naomi, so they can share more rebellious drives up PCH? How romantic! Whatever it is, I have to know.

2. Is Sasha really pregnant?
There has always been something about Sasha that I didn’t quite trust. Maybe it’s her penchant for multi-colored tops and costume jewelry. Or when she was deejaying on the yacht and she would make like she was scratching, but the music had no scratches in it. Or (and this is a far-fetched reason, I know) the fact that she dated a kid who’s still in high school. My point is that she has exhibited signs that she just isn’t right. So, isn’t it entirely possible that she made up the pregnancy to get Dixon back? I think so. Plus, didn’t we just go through ‘Teen Parenting 101’ last season with Adrianna? I can’t believe that the writers want to do that storyline again. I, for one, am tired of that plot line. Babies are exhausting.

3. Is Silver and Kelly’s mom really sick?
It’s a horrible thought, I know, but don’t tell me some of you aren’t thinking the same thing. And if you insist I’m alone on this one, please see the reader comment from last week. I am in no way trying to minimize the suffering of those with cancer, but it’s “90210!’ If any of you have had the unique experience of watching the original “Beverly Hills, 90210,” you’d know that Jackie Taylor is one of the most selfish characters in the ZIP code and she was built to throw her kids off-kilter. I definitely think it’s way more likely that Sasha is faking her pregnancy than it is that Jackie is faking her prognosis. There’s no way both will be the case, I’m sure. Whatever happens, one thing is certain: Jackie hasn’t lost her talent for shaking up her kids’ lives.

4. When will Harry and Kelly hook up already?
Yes, this deserves a “when will it happen” question, not a “will it happen” question. All signs point to Harry and Kelly at least locking lips, if not doing the nasty in the janitor’s closet. I could be clouded by my own boredom of this entire storyline. Wouldn’t it have been easier (and more interesting) if Harry was a single father who moved himself and his kids back home to Beverly Hills after his wife’s passing? That way we could see Harry start to date again, rekindle a past flirtation with Kelly and challenge Mr. Matthews for her affection? Instead, we’re left with this tired emotional cheating storyline that Rob Estes can’t bring any subtlety to. The only thing we’d miss in my alternate scenario is Lori Loughlin’s excellent performance as the suspicious, angry wife. I need to know when this will end or, better yet, when this will really get started.

5. When will killing Jasper’s uncle come back to haunt Annie?
Not much has been said about Annie’s hit-and-run killing for a few episodes, but the stage is set for some major payback. First, we know the victim’s identity. It was getting pretty uncomfortable referring to him as “the bum” for so many weeks. Second, we know that Jasper is nuts, as evidenced by his stalking of (and coincidentally stopping the date-rape of) Annie and his fascination with knives – which circumstantially supports Mark’s claim that he had pulled a knife on someone at school. Finally, we learned that there is a police investigation and Teddy (possibly the sole eyewitness to the crime) is cooperating. Now, all we need is for everyone to catch up with us. One thing’s for sure: If the police don’t get her, Jasper will.

What do you think? How off am I? Which plot lines from the first seven episodes do you need to see resolved? What are your burning questions?

-- Jethro Nededog (Follow me on Twitter @TheRealJethro)

Related:
‘90210’: The whole gang is asking…trick or treat?

‘90210’: Even rich girls get the blues

Complete ‘90210’ coverage on Show Tracker

Photos, from top: Tristan Wilds as Dixon, Matt Lanter as Liam and Michael Steger as Navid on “90210”; Ann Gillespie as Jackie and Jessica Stroup as Silver on “90210”; Zach Sherman as Jasper and Shenae Grimes as Annie Wilson on “90210.” Credit: The CW