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‘Entourage’: Breaking and entering

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The freaks were out in full force tonight: With a pervy Bob Saget, an off-the-rails Drama and a weird underwear bandit, the flags were really flying high.

First, the boxer-brief bandit. After some random topless girl woke up Vince to inform him she had heard something downstairs, Vince discovered the living-room door open and what sounded like the tinkling of silverware. After a call to 911, it turned out no big-ticket items had been taken – well, except for the boys’ underwear. Could it be that Vince has a stalker? And where was attack dog Arnold when Vince needed him? The Rottweiler didn’t even flinch when the intruder entered the home. “I didn’t realize your attack dog was as worthless as you, Turtle.” Ari zinged. The case of the missing drawers spooked Vince, nonetheless, and he and Turtle took a brief foray into vigilante/Clint Eastwood “get-off-my-lawn” territory and made a visit to a local gun store to take the law into their own hands. Which ended after Drama accidentally pulled the trigger on a gun from his own arsenal (any of you readers catch whose garage sale it was from?) and shattered the life of an innocent glass window. That prompted Vince to take Ari’s advice and call his security guy instead. Loved that Ari doused Vince’s fantasy that the stalker was some cute girl he could hook up with by noting that the intruder is more likely some “creepy little pale obsessive freak… . Speaking of which, where’s E? He got an alibi?”

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E, it turned out, was dealing with his own freakiness on his first day at the Murray Berenson office.

Scott Caan guest-starred as Scott Levin, a slick, brash, testosterone-fueled alpha male fink who possessed the unique gift of being able to simultaneously repel and annoy in equal measure. Looks like Scotty’s going to be E’s main adversary at the firm, and he tried to do his best to mark his own territory by a) leaving E with the core of an apple, and b) telling E to keep his little hands off coveted potential client Bob Saget. Of course, Scotty gets short shrift when the erstwhile Mr. Tanner — accompanied by a buxom blond and erasing any “Full House” residue by talking cocaine lines and being as delightfully dirty and crass as ever — shooed off Scotty and his über-aggressive frat-boy pitch in favor of E instead. And then things took a turn for the freaky-deaky when Saget relayed to E that he would sign with Murray on one condition: if he (and the buxom blond) could have sex in Murray’s office. (Cut. It. Out!) “I’m not weird,” Saget shrugged. “I’m pragmatic.”

And then there’s Drama, who freaked out in a major way after the Dan Cookley debacle. Word around town was that Drama staged an unprovoked assault on the high-ranking exec, and poor Drama had no leverage in this he-said, he-said battle. But despite his boys’ (and Jamie-Lynn’s) recommendation that he apologize to the exec and thereby lift Drama’s ban from the lot and the show, Drama had to insist on trying to bait Cookley and catch him in his lie. Of course, Drama’s feeble attempt to emulate “The Wire” went south (as did my interest in this storyline). And although Cookley couldn’t write Drama off the show, the exec resolved to make Drama’s life a living hell. Which sounds all fun and well and good, though I’m still waiting for Ari’s supposed torture of Lloyd. What ever happened to that?

What did you think of the episode? Who do you think the stalker is? How long will it be before E and his assistant get together? Which do you prefer: a Burke-Williams gift certificate or a fruit basket? “America’s Funniest Home Videos’ ” Bob Saget or NC-17 Bob Saget?

— Allyssa Lee

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