‘Weeds’: six months later

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Awesome. Just this week, I was saying I missed ‘Lost.’ Someone must have read my mind because ‘Weeds’ had a flash forward. There wasn’t the cool wave-crashing sound effect. Just the words: six months later. Which comes as a relief. I kept wondering, who was that bearded guy fencing with Esteban in the preview for this episode? Just Andy after he went crazy. But we’ll get to that.

It’s like skipping a couple of chapters in a novel. I’m sure some important stuff happened in the meanwhile. Silas and Doug went through the process of building their medical marijuana dispensary. I’m sure Doug said a lot of stupid things, and Silas rolled his eyes. Nancy and Shane settled into Esteban’s home. We probably missed a couple of culture crashes followed by smarmy comments from Shane then quick, witty discipline by Nancy. And Andy. Well, Andy went crazy. But we’ll get to that.

We skip ahead to a day when all the members of the Botwin extended family go through life-changing events. At first I was going to comment on that, but then I realized that this is the Botwin clan. They all have life-changing events nearly every day. No matter what day they picked, chances are at least 70% of them would be going through crises of some sort.

The life-changing event that starts us off is Esteban’s proposal to Nancy. Just after Nancy finishes with her pregnant-lady shower, Esteban informs her that they will be getting married. He gives her a ring that he knows will distract her long enough for him to run in the next room and strike a naked pose that is both seductive and would be approved by Showtime standards. (And a good job he did.)

When the real proposal and ring came out, Nancy’s first reaction was “no,” which she quickly corrected to “yes.” Could she be inadvertently answering truthfully? There’s almost a parallel to Andy’s reply when Silas asks if he should be worried about Andy going crazy. But we’ll get to that.

Silas’ and Doug’s life-changing event starts with Doug reading George Hamilton’s autobiography. Silas is getting tired of being pushed around by Jim Belushi’s brother-in-law from ‘According to Jim.’ Doug automatically asks, “What would George Hamilton do?” He slept with his stepmother at age 12; that’s enough to make him an icon to follow in Doug’s mind. Though apparently according to Doug, George Hamilton would shake their extorting cop’s chair and tell him to scram until he falls and cracks his head on the furniture. Nice going, George. Though points to Silas for referencing ‘Zorro: the Gay Blade,’ a movie that came out six years before he was born (Damn the young!).

Shane’s life-changing event involves skipping school to learn Spanish profanity, harass golfers and witness an act of savage violence. Last week, I was starting to think that Shane was slipping into the criminal darkness. It was almost comforting to watch him react so fearfully to Igncio after watching him beat a guy down with a power driver. He can still see the difference between right and wrong. Good kid.

And yes, Andy. He’s gone crazy. Managed to waste $180,000 in six months. Video games, foosball tables, slot machines and a tricked out replica of the General Lee complete with speaking car alarm. Can’t really get on his case about that. I’d probably have done the same.

Although Andy also grew out the big prospector beard and went all Steve Wiebe on us. I don’t know what’s worse, his obsession with beating the Ms. Pacman high score or the derogatory comments he makes about the female ghost. That did lead to one of the coolest scenes I’ve seen on television in a while: Nancy kicking open the door to leave a voice-mail in the same room as Andy because he won’t answer her calls. It even ended with the Ms. Pacman dying sound effect. How perfect.

With a whole new sense of confidence from her pending wedding, Nancy goes to visit Guillermo in prison. She flaunts her ring and the fact that Esteban would kill for her. Though Guillermo has something to flaunt himself. Apparently the disappearance of DEA agent and dirty dancer Roy Till might pave the way for Guillermo to get out of jail free. That’s when Nancy’s life-changing event starts to change, but it doesn’t stop there.

Later in the evening, after Esteban’s sword fight with crazy, bearded Jedi Andy, Nancy learned that her marriage to Esteban could no longer happen. It had something to do with the angry woman who burst into the house and yelled at him in Spanish. If anyone knows what it was she said, I’m dying to find out. Otherwise, I guess I’ll just have to wait until next week.

--Andrew Hanson