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‘Top Chef Masters’: A ‘grotesque’ dish edges a ‘cold’ one? What gives?

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‘That grotesque huge ball of undercooked lamb with the egg in the middle was just terrifying.’ -- Gael Greene on Art Smith’s lamb scotch egg.

Has there ever been as harsh a verdict from the ‘Top Chef’ judges? Anthony Bourdain’s critique of CJ’s roasted broccolini in Season 3 comes to mind. ‘This looks like something you’d find in Bob Marley’s closet,’ he said. (In his now-sadly defunct Bravo blog, Bourdain even elaborated, ‘I meant NOW -- like years and years after the great man’s death.... My fellow passenger [Tom Colicchio] and I gaped, unbelieving at the blackened, twig-like, half-dry, half-sludge Petri-scrapings in our side dishes.’ But that was reserved for the Web.)

And there was the time last season when Padma spit up Ariane’s dessert in her napkin for being cloyingly sweet.

But that wasn’t an act of ‘terror.’ No, barring Toby Young’s random barbs likening bisque to weapons of mass destruction, Greene was genuinely appalled. In truth, I’ve never seen a scotch egg that enormous before. It was, in fact, ‘grotesque.’

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So it was rather shocking to me to see the judges drop the guillotine on Suzanne Tracht for serving cold fish. Cold fish doesn’t sound great -- unless we’re talking about sushi -- but ‘cold’ hardly comes close to ‘grotesque.’ Even slightly overdone grouper, a result of the fish having sat around too long, doesn’t sound as bad.

Smith’s tomato tart and sweet potato fries must really have been something. (He edged Tracht by half a star.)

I recently attended the L.A. leg of the ‘Top Chef’ tour, where Fabio Viviani and Hosea Rosenberg were doing a demonstration and taking questions from fans. Both of the former contestants noted one of the things viewers don’t see on the show is how long food sometimes has to wait before the judges get to it, whether in a party setting or when individual dishes are being served. That idea struck me during tonight’s episode because Tracht was banished for serving cold food, while Smith’s monstrous raw meatball got a pass.

If you watched the scene where she was tidying up her prepared plates -- and I re-watched it -- the clock behind her read 1 minute:38 seconds left. If anything, her plates got cold because she served her dish after two people before her. One can only imagine how long it took between presenting and eating both Smith and Rick Bayless’ dishes before hers. Unfair? Maybe a little.

Tracht was calm and cool, she emphasized freshness, and she schucked those oysters with Jedi-like concentration, as Michael Chiarello said. It’s rough seeing L.A.’s only chance for the prize go home.

Otherwise, I’m glad it’s ‘Game on!’ time on ‘Top Chef.’ And what better way to kick the race to the end off with my favorite challenge: the mise en place race. Hung flying through those chickens, Casey struggling to shop onions (and it’s no wonder; she used a serrated knife!). Good times. (Or maybe I just like watching people butcher meat at rapid speeds.)

The chefs may have been nervous about doing prep work, and quick, but no one embarrassed themselves. These ‘Masters’ contestants are a humble bunch. They need a boost of Marcel, no? Had Smith not lost some yolk in those whites, a mistake that makes it impossible to whip up whites, it would have been neck and neck.

For the elimination challenge, the chefs were asked to re-create a competitor’s signature dish. My own thoughts on that were echoed by Rick Bayless: ‘That’s mean! When you’ve got something that someone’s poured their heart and soul in and you’re supposed to take that and improve on it? Make it your own? I don’t even want to touch anything else!’

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The terms of the challenge were also a bit fluid for me. Homages, like Bayless’ slight spin on Chiarello’s quail, or Hubert Keller’s take on Anita Lo’s scallop, were straightforward enough. But then Lo used the same ingredients as Hubert, but entirely reinvented his lobster dish. The two entrees didn’t look a thing alike, yet she was praised for it. Chiarello, on the other hand, also used Bayless’ main ingredients in an entirely new way, but was criticized for it. ‘I wasn’t really getting a sense of Rick in it,’ James Oseland said. Confusing to me, but in the end none of it mattered when it came to the chopping block.

Unfortunately for the competition’s comfort food chefs, someone had to go home. And now just one female chef remains.

What did you think? Did you think the right chef was cut? Am I assuming too much about the time that elapsed between Tracht’s plating and the time the judges got to eat? Were you as confused about the rules of the elimination challenge as I was? Who do you think will win? (My money is on a showdown between Bayless and Lo.)

-- Denise Martin

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