‘Dancing With the Stars’ results: No laughing matter

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Maybe it was the sourpuss that did him in. Because although he performed a much better dance the second time around, ultimately, the viewers made their choice and David Alan Grier was left the odd man out in this week’s competition. It was clear the comedian never felt he got a fair shake from the judges this season. “I feel like a stepchild,” he said, only half-jokingly. “They treat me like an old wet food stamp. They give me a hug later, after all the other kids.” But although he did his best to put on a brave face, there was no denying DAG was less than happy with the result.

We all knew we were in for a surprise turnout early on when it was revealed that Steve-O, who had the lowest score from the judges, was deemed safe from this week’s elimination. Wonder if Johnny Knoxville (without sunglasses, for once) came out in a show of support for what he thought would be Steve-O’s swan song, only to discover that his pal had been saved from the gallows for another week? Was he like, aw, man, does this mean I have to show up again next week? Or is he secretly showing up in the hopes that ABC will approach him for a ‘DWTS’ spot next season? (Speaking of showing up again, wasn’t that Cody Lindley in the front row with those horn-rimmed glasses?)

This results show seemed packed from start to finish, which meant there wasn’t a lot of time for dilly-dallying: They went straight to the encore performance of Lil’ Kim and Derek Hough’s breezy Viennese waltz (even though the couple then had to spend some awkward time loitering afterward on the stage while Tom and Samantha talked to the cameras). And then the incomparable Etta James took to the stage and belted out her classic “At Last” while Maks and Karina danced. And I know I’ve heard the song about a million times, and it’s practically a cliché for brides everywhere at this point, but that swell of strings and that voice get me every time.

The Macy’s Stars of Dance were also back, this time featuring a performance from La Rêve, with amazing acrobatics and bald-headed, skirted dancers who looked like they came straight from that artsy J. Lo movie “The Cell.” And to appease the tween set, Demi Lovato sang while ‘SYTYCD’ alum (and Lacey’s big bro) Benji Schwimmer and Tori Smith performed a number on the floor. Which was all fine and fun, except for the train wreck that was Tori’s highly unfortunate outfit. First, the shiny tight PVC pants with the hot-pink stripe down her leg. And then, more heinously, the oddly shaped top with tails and that hideously large pink, sparkly bow in the back, which all made it seem like she was drowning in Minnie Mouse’s ill-fitting life jacket.

For a while, I was afraid that Ty’s petrified pasodoble was going to send him straight to the the bottom two. After all, hadn’t Samantha taken him and Steve-O into the back room and asked him why he sucked so much? OK, not so much in those words, but it really is awkward how Samantha interviews those in danger of elimination. I don’t care how great her arms look while she’s doing it, or whether her dress has the same color scheme as a Big Stick popsicle. It’s just uncomfortable.

Luckily, however, Ty and Chelsie got their last-minute reprieve, which left David and Kym and Lawrence and Edyta going head to head in Thunderdome. And to his credit, DAG really stepped up his performance the second time around and earned that higher score of 24. He did seem to have more of a connection with Kym, though that odd puss on his face refused to go away. Whereas LT kind of did the same dance-by-numbers that he did on Monday night, leaving him with the same score of 20. And Lawrence Taylor, with his smiles and charm, seemed more than ready to give up all this beat-less hoopla and get back on the golf course. But despite a four-point discrepancy, it was the voting public who saved the gentle Giant for another week and sent David Alan Grier home.

Which really goes to show how many sports fans watch ‘DWTS.’ Or how many voters can’t stand to see an angry comedian. A sad clown, yes, but not a sulky one. And though he said that he wanted to make his partner proud, Davy G. and Kym never seemed to mesh the way one hoped they would, DAG nab it! Ah, well. Hope it was enough time for him to get that swimmer’s body that he wanted.

What do you think? Do you think America let DAG go because of his dancing or his attitude? Was the right person sent home?

— Allyssa Lee