‘Top Chef’: Jamie goes down, the show implodes

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... Or at least I thought it did. Not even Eric Ripert could sway the judges from saving the terrible twosome? I refuse to think Ripert and his reputable palate believed Hosea’s dry, poorly seasoned monkfish and Leah’s completely misunderstood miso sauce to be better than Jamie’s salty celery.

The show’s producers should be ashamed of themselves for leading all of us on like that. It was clear that either Hosea or Leah were going to be going home. I couldn’t contain my outcry.

How salty could it have been? Yes, Tom used the term ‘salt lick.’ But I recall the judges also saying her fish was cooked perfectly. Was Hosea’s? No. Is that a worse offense since the guy’s a seafood chef? Heck, yes! Also, and I hate to say this, but I’m seeing a Hosea-Stefan showdown in the finale. They’ve certainly tried to build up a rivalry (albeit using only Hosea’s smack talk). Eh, I guess I’d be OK with watching a finale where Stefan mops the floor with Hosea.

Don’t get me started on Leah. Leah, who quit the quickfire in front of Chef Ripert. In a real kitchen, he would have said, ‘You’re fired, you sad, tired excuse for a cook.’ (The bonus? Her second fish was the easier fish to filet!) Leah, who does nothing but whine, just like her TV boyfriend. Leah, who says she really wants to compete. I haven’t seen her drive since the beginning of the season. She’s been surprised when she’s been singled out for doing something well in recent episodes because she never thinks she’s done something well.

I realize that as much as I’ve been manipulated to root for Fabio, who finally redeemed himself last night, I’m also being shown the most villainous side of Leah. But I don’t care. It’s not as though she could transform into a thoughtful chef when the cameras weren’t rolling.

I’ll miss Jamie. For all her grumbling earlier in the season about always coming in second, she was passionate about her food. (Definitely more so than Leah.) She was adamant about using seasonal ingredients and working in something a little different, a little special. She added finesse to homey food such as corn chowder and a Middle Eastern zing to more modern fare. If only she hadn’t miscalculated and let that celery do her in.

Speaking of people I miss, does anyone else miss Ted Allen? Toby’s just trying too hard. Most of what he says comes off terribly forced. Ted was naturally quippy. He didn’t come to the table having memorized a laundry list of insults.

That leaves us with Stefan, Fabio, Carla, Hosea and Leah. Dare I say the ride from here is suspense-free? Can anyone challenge Stefan, really?

-- Denise Martin