'Dancing With the Stars': Maurice Greene dashes off into the sunset
One thing is for certain: Maurice Greene’s elimination from “Dancing With the Stars” will result in headlines chock-full of running-related verbs. It came as no major surprise that he and Cheryl were eliminated tonight, and I can’t tell whether it’s satisfying to have my expectations met or disappointing that nothing outrageous transpired. Perhaps this season used up all of its allotted surprises early on, like Toni Braxton’s premature elimination, Cloris Leachman’s unanticipated resilience and, of course, the rash of injuries and diseases afflicting pros and celebrities alike. Yes, perhaps the semifinals and finals will merely be an orderly series of dances in which Brooke Burke consistently outperforms her competitors on the key criterion of somehow becoming ever hotter despite (a) having four children and (b) aging. Or maybe something shocking will happen … LIVE!
The encore dance was Warren Sapp and Kym’s tango. I’m not sure if he did it last night, but it seemed as if he was looking down too much during the encore. A tango seems to require a stiff, noble, angry chin.
Tonight’s musical guest was Brad Paisley, host of Wednesday night’s CMA Awards. First he performed a hit in which one of the lyrics was “When you press that bottle to your lips, I wish I was your beer.” Really? Lacey and her brother Benji danced a brisk, spinny, flippy routine during his performance. This dancing thing really seems to run in families, eh? We’ve seen the Ballases, the Houghs, the Schwimmers and several pairs of Ballroom Kids. I guess you just don’t hear much from the families where one kid dances and his or her siblings think nothing could be lamer, or families where one kid is a dancing genius and the other one has Susan Lucci’s sense of rhythm. Speaking of dancing siblings, the Macy’s Stars of Dance performance was the one designed by you –- the fans! Derek and Julianne (looking none the worse for wear after her surgery) danced a speedy jive in piano-themed costumes to “Great Balls of Fire.” It was enjoyable. Good job, fans!
Brad Paisley’s second number featured a dance performed by six of the pros, who showed what dancing in unison is supposed to look like. And these pros will be on tour, along with some celebrities from seasons past and present. Tickets are on sale now, as you probably suspected.
For filler, relationship expert Dr. Drew Pinsky counseled our couples on their interpersonal issues. First, he met with Lance Bass and Lacey, who revisited the fight they had last week. It was determined that they need to let each other have their own feelings. Next up were Warren and Kym, who focused on the mounting pressure that comes with continuing in the competition. Dr. Drew thought the stress was quite a burden on Warren. With Maurice and Cheryl, whose relationship has seemed fraught all season, Dr. Drew suggested that once Maurice gets the technique down, he’ll be less frustrated. When he spoke with Brooke and Derek, they brought up their argument of a few weeks ago, when Derek was rather condescending to Brooke. Dr. Drew recommended that Brooke be clear about where the line between assertive coaching and insulting lies. Finally, Cody and Julianne exhibited the most emotion in their consultation with Dr. Drew. Cody broke down and cried when discussing Julianne’s surgery, which made Julianne cry, too. Oh, they’re so young! Dr. Drew provided Kleenex and no advice.
Co-host Samantha Harris’s hair was bizarrely styled for the second night in a row; I think someone in the hair department must be bored. Also, she was wearing one of those maxidresses, which are all well and good if you’re trying to hide a pregnancy or camouflage your post-baby figure when facing the paparazzi, but it seemed a bit casual for “DWTS.” I’m just saying.
Would anyone like to make a guess about next week’s semifinals? Or the upcoming Ballroom Kids final?
-- Sarah Rogers