‘Gossip Girl’: Let’s get ready to rumble

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‘Gossip Girl’ is back and has hit the ground running with the makings of not just one, but two prize-winning fights. In last night’s round, we have fallen queen Blair Waldorf, sans her mighty headband and looking forlorn, vs. underdog Jenny ‘Little J’ Humphrey, who rocks a new short ‘do to go with her growing social stature.

As the kids from St. Jude and Constance Billard schools repopulate the halls after spring break (good one, writers), Blair faces the reality that even after three weeks, no one’s forgotten about her indiscretions with Chuck. To add insult to injury, she’s greeted by her frenemies with a dollop of yogurt on her perfect brown curls. Let’s hope that was nonfat.

Jenny, on the other hand, is enjoying the good life -- trips to Aspen on new BFF Hazel’s private jet, $120 brunches and a shindig at hotspot Socialista to celebrate her 15th birthday. Her vacillation between nervous smiles and mischievous smirks, however, indicates she’s not completely comfortable with her newfound popularity -- with good reason. There’s no way little miss Brooklyn can afford to run with her Balenciaga-toting pack. They’ve been building this story arc all season: how far will social-climbing Jenny go to make the A-list? She’s already played thief (recall the jacket she got tricked into taking from Eleanor Waldorf’s store in the sleepover episode), so it’s no shock when she dips into Hazel’s mother’s closet to steal a red Valentino couture gown. After pawning the dress for a gold Dolce & Gabbana to wear on her birthday, Jenny makes a mistake only fashion neophytes (and most normal 15-year-old girls) would make by underestimating the value of Valentino.

What is surprising is that Jenny throws the first big blow in the battle. She invites Blair to a girls dinner at scene-y restaurant Butter, only to stand her up. Humiliated, Blair is moved to retaliate by convincing Rufus Humphrey that his daughter really wants a party at home (anyone notice that the only time Blair wears a headband in the episode is when she’s scheming to bring Jenny down?). The party goes off as awkwardly as Blair planned and ends with Jenny getting caught red-handed, or shall we say red-dressed. The score is even. But before you can say ‘Ahhh, snap!’, Jenny comes from behind and shows up at Blair’s victory party with her other new BFF Nate Archibald. The main objective, though, wasn’t to get Blair jealous. It was her offering to win forgiveness from Hazel and group leader Penelope, who’s had a crush on Nate ‘since the 20th century.’ Now you may ‘Ahhh, snap!’

At this point, the bout can go either way. Jenny is gaining confidence while Blair’s wilts, but there’s no underestimating innate bitchery. Blair, after all, is a natural while Jenny is still learning to trust her instincts. If Blair doesn’t emerge victorious in the end, I will be disappointed. If she emerges with some renewed perspective on life and realizes there’s more to it than being the mean (rather, brutally honest) girl, I will be pissed. With that, let the battle continue.

And with regards to the second fight I mentioned, prepare for what’s brewing between Serena and Michelle Trachtenberg’s character Georgina Sparks when she enters the picture next Monday. Secrets, along with champagne, are bound to spill!

xoxo

-- Enid Portuguez