‘America’s Next Top Model’: Somebody call the waahmbulance

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It’s hard being a model. Or an aspiring model, anyway. It seemed like almost everybody had something to overcome on last night’s episode of ‘Top Model,’ and even those who didn’t on this particular installment (like Dominique), still usually do talk about things they’ve had to surmount. First, Lauren, noted how a person like her has never won ‘Top Model.’ What exactly does that mean? It would be admirable if she somehow said what about her is so positively unique, but instead all she did last night was curse the other girls on the red carpet and say that she wouldn’t ‘be like those girls on TV who win,’ whatever that means. She did also have to rise above the challenge of receiving some stitches after cutting her finger with a knife, which is painful for sure but not as dramatic as the ‘Top Model’ medical emergency standby of fainting.

Then, Fatima had to overcome the challenge life threw at her by making her lose her travel documents in L.A. She wept and talked about how difficult her situation on the show was, as her own forgetfulness could potentially make her miss out on a trip abroad. Fortunately, Jay Manuel told her what everyone else was thinking: that it was her own fault and she should have taken care of it earlier.

Whitney got in on the act, too, discussing the challenges she has faced as a plus-sized model, griping about her problems and then making herself feel better by basically saying that Anya, after winning the party-schmoozing challenge, was stupid. Contrary to popular belief, plus-sized does not always necessarily mean ‘smarter and better personality.’

In the end, Fatima’s challenge did her no harm. Even though she had to miss the travel-themed photo shoot to meet with the consulate, the judges still deemed her work better than Stacy Ann’s, who thus far has had no conflicts, no sob stories, and no medical emergencies, which probably explains why it was time for her to go home.

-- Claire Zulkey