‘Dancing with the Stars’ Women: Priscilla Presley impresses
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Allow me to make a few generalizations based on what we’ve seen of Season 6 of ‘Dancing with the Stars’ so far. One, the women, as a group, have crisper moves and more flair than the men. Two, the worst-dancing woman (Monica Seles) is much better than the worst-dancing man (Adam Carolla). Three, the best-dancing woman (Kristi Yamaguchi) is better than the best-dancing man (Mario). And yet Steve Guttenberg is still the most chipper person in this world and all possible worlds, besting the peppy Marissa Jaret Winokur by a hair. That said, Steve’s unrelenting optimism has attracted the notice of his compatriots on the male side –- more on that in a moment.
The biggest surprise of the night for me was not that Priscilla Presley was a passable dancer but that she was really quite good. Also, she and Louis performed a classic foxtrot to old-fashioned foxtrot music (you know what I mean) instead of like “Gimme More,” so it was rather lovely. At 62, she is, as Samantha Harris put it in the post-dance interview, the most “mature” woman they’ve had on the show, but she’s got some spring in her step and is both graceful and flexible. That said, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that her face does not move with the same fluidity. Maybe she felt nervous about being on the show with all these younger fillies, but Priscilla Presley is inherently a beautiful woman who I suspect would have aged quite well if she hadn’t apparently had her face injected, plumped and immobilized. The stasis even affects her speech, which vaguely resembles lockjaw. Regardless, the judges adored the foxtrot, noting in particular her excellent fluidity and posture. Score: 24/30.
As the show repeatedly reminds us, this group of women has won many impressive awards -– an Oscar, a Tony, two Olympics, nine Grand Slam championships, and Elvis. Shannon Elizabeth hasn’t yet won anything (though she’s apparently quite good at competitive poker), and I’ll go ahead and make the bold prediction that this won’t change on ‘DWTS.’ She wa
Monica Seles has a bit of a different trajectory, it seemed to me, than most celebrities. I say this as an expert who has watched two entire episodes. What I mean is that most of them are set up as really nervous and inept, and then they do better than they (and we) would have thought. In contrast, Monica’s initial comments exude confidence –- after all, she’s won nine Grand Slam tournaments –- but she quickly becomes flustered and very nervous, though she remains focused. And you do see some legitimate improvement from her practice sessions with Jonathan to their foxtrot -– for example, she does learn to hold her head in the properly tilted, aristocratic position, though it’s also quite clear she’s entirely focused on keeping it there at the expense of fluidity of movement in general. Her bubble-gum-pink dress distracted me, but everyone else seemed to like it, so maybe this is yet another indication that I shouldn’t buy all of my clothes at Target. Monica and Jonathan’s dance has a nifty little narrative arc that involves a gerbera daisy, but overall it’s a pretty stiff performance, and the judges say so bluntly. I felt a great deal of sympathy for Monica, who tells Samantha Harris that she’s more nervous than she was before any Grand Slam final, and mouths “vote, please” to the audience. Score: 15/30.
Speaking of the audience, they broke into Steve Guttenberg’s stash of happy pills and gave each contestant a standing ovation.
Next up is Marissa Jaret Winokur, who seems to embody the word “irrepressible.” Also, “not tall.” Fine, that’s a phrase, not a word. Man, is she high energy! I guess that’s what it takes on Broadway. She’s so Broadway, in fact, that Tony explains that ballroom dancing is about keeping your energy contained. In response to this piece of advice, or anything else, Marissa laughs and spazzes out. She’s quite charming. She says she’s here to show that women of any size can dance. During their cha-cha-cha, Tony is wearing what Tom later calls a “macho oil slick,” and their cha-cha turns out not to be so much of a cha-cha as it is something you might see your sweaty fraternity brothers doing in a circle toward the end of a wedding reception –- lots of arm-pumping and hip-hoppish dancing. It’s energetic, sure, but even I can see that it isn’t really a cha-cha, and the judges advise them to get with the program. They also remark on a moment when Marissa missed meeting Tony’s hand, and Marissa explains that she was just so fired up to be there that she messed up. Steve has a true competitor here. Score: 18/30.
It was obvious to expect that Kristi Yamaguchi would be a formidable contestant, and the show knows this, so the practice scenes seem edited to make you question this expectation. It doesn’t work. Sure, you can hear her tell you how dancing is totally different from skating since you have to lead with your heel instead of cruise flat-footed, but even the brief snippets you see of her and Mark’s rehearsals are enough to show that she’s got it. And, man, their foxtrot (like Priscilla and Louis’, it’s done very traditionally) is amazing! What was most noteworthy to me was how well synchronized they were. And Kristi is, as you’d expect, graceful, flexible and elegant. As Carrie Ann says, they made it look effortless. Bruno says it’s one of the best performances he’s ever seen in the first round. They’re the ones to beat. Score: 27/30.
Marlee Matlin is clearly the biggest marketing hook for the show this year –- after all, she’s deaf, which for most people would be an obstacle. Also, we find out in her post-dance interview, she has four kids, which also strikes me as an obstacle to getting anything done at all. She’s paired up with a new pro, Fabian, who’s up for the challenge. Marlee repeatedly displays a quick wit. For instance, she points out that she’s “profoundly deaf –- profoundly deaf. But I sleep great!” She and Fabian do a cha-cha, and while you can tell that she’s relying visually upon Fabian, they do have plenty of facing-away moves, and they do a very good job. The judges are impressed and inspired but insist they’re not giving any extra points for hardship. Score: 22/30.
Now, in the middle of the show, Tom Bergeron stops by to see if the men realize they’re getting their butts handed to them. Steve says it’s so exciting and that the women are just doing so great. Mario agrees that they look great. Adam says that Steve said, off-stage, that the show sucked, and his cheeriness is merely a ploy to get votes. “Don’t buy into his charade,” he says. Cristián says that in Marissa, we’ve finally found someone happier than Steve (I respectfully disagree). Jason compliments his fellow athlete, Monica. Finally, Penn says that he can’t compete with Steve and Marissa and their rosy view of the world, so he’ll be sour and dour from now on, which, frankly, can’t be all that much longer.
Next week, Tom Bergeron tells us in a portentous tone, we’ll see a “groundbreaking” double-elimination round. Everyone will get to dance again, but then one man and one woman will be sent packing.
-- Sarah Rogers