‘America’s Next Top Model’: The day the squealing died

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So what does it take for nine rather sweet, raucous girls to be struck dead silent?

Easy. Tyson Beckford.

When the male supermodel/actor/studmuffin arrived at the girls’ house to give them a lesson on spokespersonship, the ladies couldn’t talk. They just gaped and swooned, barely emitting a giggle. For the first time ever, they shut their yaps and stopped gossiping. In Bizarro World, apparently, Tyson Beckford is a librarian.

I must say, the contrast between Life Without Tyson and Life With Tyson was most striking because these models seem to have a greater camaraderie than the women in previous houses. They actually had a slumber party in the mega walk-in closet this episode -- and this is the show where contestants weren’t above snarking about each other’s eating disorders in previous seasons. It’s refreshing, and much more appealing to watch.

The photo shoot for the week was an homage to recycling, continuing with Tyra’s green theme for the season. Effervescent Ambreal blew it again, failing to show in photos the personality she has on stage. But Ebony, homesick and miserable, told Tyra that she wanted to go home, and she was summarily dismissed, giving Ambreal an unexpected second chance.

I must say, however, the most delicious discovery I had about ‘Top Model’ this week didn’t come from the show itself. In this month’s issue of Esquire, Mike Sager wrote a profile of Kobe Bryant, in which there’s a tremendously amusing tidbit: Remember Kobe’s debut rap album? Yeah, me neither. But apparently none other than Tyra Banks was featured in a duet track called ‘K.O.B.E.’ Sager suggested readers Google the lyrics, and damn skippy I did. Here you go. (Ignore the typos on that website, please. Beyond my grammar avenger control.) Among the gems:

[Tyra]
Kobe, how many girls have said, ‘I love you?’
Not like ‘I love you Kobe!’ like a fan
But like, for real, like, baby, marry me
I love you

[Tyra, later in the song]
K-O-B-E, I L-O-V-E you
I believe you are very fine
If you give me one chance, I promise to love you
And be with you forever more

Does someone have a link to audio evidence of this? Please?

Photos: The CW

-- Ann Donahue