Rihanna, Chris Brown reunite with not one, but two songs

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Update: An expanded version of this review can be read here.

Wow.

While the entirety of the music media world was wringing their hands about Chris Brown appearing on Rihanna’s remix of ‘Birthday Cake,’ the two former — or current (we’re so very confused at this point, please just tell us what is going on, please) — lovers were busy hatching not just one song but two. Not only is Brown lustily serenading Rihanna on ‘Cake’ but she appears on a new version of his song ‘Turn Up the Music,’ complete with giggles at the end — presumably because they were having such a great time sending completely insane, mixed messages to anyone listening.

We’ll have a full critical reaction posted tomorrow (see update above) but in the meantime, for now, some very snap judgment on the songs. The Chris Brown track is embedded below but you’ll have to find the much naughtier ‘Birthday Cake’ on your own.

‘Birthday Cake’: This is the song that will really get people talking — and not in a good way. Brown makes far from a subtle entrance, declaring his intents from the first line. As a mere collection of sounds and beats, it’s provocative and exciting. As a message to any thinking person who’s been following their case, it’s very confusing. Is this a true sign of romantic reunion or simply two pop stars who are willing to milk their domestic abuse past for more fame and/or notoriety?

‘Turn Up the Music’: By far the safer track. So safe I can’t really think of anything more to say about it, other than it sounds like reconstituted Kylie Minogue. Listen after the jump:

Glad these two crazy kids are back together at last?

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— Margaret Wappler

Left photo: Brown winning a Grammy earlier this month. Credit: Kevin Winter / Getty Images. Right photo: Rihanna at London Fashion Week on Saturday. Credit: Samir Hussein / Getty Images