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Hey, Lady Gaga: When Katy Perry calls your scandal 'calculated,' you must be doing something right

August 20, 2009 |  1:02 pm


Rumors have been swirling that the tight-pants-loving Lady Gaga is transgendered, due to a grainy photo taken at England's Glastonbury festival that shows a slight bulge between her legs. In the grand tradition of rumors begetting other rumors, a quote circulated soon thereafter, supposedly from the Lady's lips, admitting that "I have both male and female genitalia... it's just a little bit of a penis and really doesn’t interfere much with my life."

When abcnews.com asked Gaga's manager if this "little bit of a penis" business was true, he said, "This is completely ridiculous." Which, for all intents and purposes, we'll take as a "no." When you think about it, he didn't really answer the question.

Anyway, where the story really gets awesome is when Katy Perry steps in. This is she of the rigidly retro coifs, the onstage frolicking with phallic fruits, the mega-hit songs that pretend to tweak social mores while really just reinforcing them (see: "I Kissed a Girl" and its kegger-approved version of girl-on-girl action).

In an interview Wednesday with London's Daily Mirror, Perry -- when asked about the Gaga rumors --  said, "Oh please, it's all very calculated. She knows what she's doing."

Whoa. This is beyond "look who's calling the kettle black." This is the TI trigonometry calculator of pop pointing her finger.

Setting aside for a moment if it's really true that Gaga orchestrated such a rumor, having the current reigning dame of systematic contrivance say that you calculated all this and know what you're doing has to be worth something, right? Is it not the highest compliment that Lady Gaga, a sister in boardroom-controlled career management, could receive?

For the record, I don't think Gaga masterminded this one, but she'd be smart to play it on the dance floor for all the sex-futurism it's worth.

-- Margaret Wappler

Photo: Katy Perry by Amy Sussman / Getty Images for the Griffin; Lady Gaga by Lee Jin-man / Associated Press