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Worst toy of the year: Dallas Cowboys Barbie

February 13, 2009 |  6:03 pm

Toy

A toy SUV: better than Barbie? Credit:Vox Efx via Flickr

You probably don't want your kids playing with guns, knives or feral cats, but how about dolls that actually poop, miniature Cadillac Escalade SUVs or tricycles hooked up to the TV screen? Those topped the list of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood's TOADY Awards, which stands for Toys Oppressive And Destructive to Young Children.

The winner of the award, beating out a field of impressive candidates, was the Barbie Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Doll, for children ages 6 and up. It comes with stiletto boots and a halter top. Rah! Rah!

"When you combine two classic symbols of gendered stereotypes -- the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and Barbie -- you get one terrible toy," CCFC Steering Committee member Joe Kelly said in a news release.

The CCFC says 6,000 people voted on the awards, and doesn't mince words when describing the toys. Here's an excerpt from its diatribe on the Escalade toy:

Who needs to pedal?  Now your 3-year-old can drive their own icon of excess at speeds up to five miles per hour! With its $349.99 price tag, you can prove to your neighbors that you aren't affected by the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. And who cares about the environment, either? Teach your children to love their gas guzzlers; a real life Escalade gets all of 14 miles per gallon!

The campaign released the awards in advance of this weekend's TOTY awards, in which the Toy Industry Assn. decides on the year's best toys. If you want to learn about some other bizarre toys, check out the TIA website. Nominees include a talking pink doll house (no, it's not haunted), the Bakugan Battle Brawlers Battle Pack (for teaching your child about elocution) and the Girl Gourmet Cupcake Maker (no boys allowed).

Presumably  your daughter could feed said cupcakes to her TOADY-nominated Caucasian pooping doll and find out how digestion really works.

-- Alana Semuels

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