Justin Bieber is no baby daddy, paternity suit reportedly dropped

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When Justin Bieber finally does have a baby -- well, that kid isn’t very likely to get beaten up on the playground, or to lose a game of chicken: Mariah Yeater’s paternity suit against the pop star reportedly is no more.

Yeater ‘quietly’ dropped the suit late last week and her lawyers quit the gig, according to TMZ, after they were informed by Bieber lawyer Howard Weitzman that a lawsuit was headed right back at them if (when?) the DNA test came up in the singer’s favor.

Good thing the Biebs didn’t rush home from Europe to take that paternity test, yes? After saying, ‘I know that I’m going to be a target, but I’m never going to be a victim,’ he and his legal team are looking pretty tough.

Yeater had filed a child-support suit against Bieber on Halloween, alleging he’d knocked her up via 30 seconds of post-concert coitus in a backstage bathroom last year when he played Staples Center. It emerged that she’d previously tapped an ex-boyfriend, and possibly a mystery lover named Steve, as the daddy of her 3-month-old boy.

If her allegation had been proved true, she could have been looking at statutory rape charges. She’d claimed they’d done the nasty when she was 19 and Justin was only 16.

‘Go BIG or Go HOME,’ Bieber said a few hours ago on Twitter. Even if it had nothing to do with the dropped case, that sentiment is on point.

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— Christie D’Zurilla
twitter.com/dzurillaville