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Owen Wilson death? A lie. Adam Sandler? Not dead. Charm value of a week of death hoaxes? Dead on arrival

December 29, 2010 |  7:17 pm

Owen Wilson death report is false. Owen Wilson's death has been, um, exaggerated. Adam Sandler is not dead either. And neither died in a snowboarding accident -- rather they "died" in online hoaxes on Wednesday and Tuesday, respectively.

Charlie Sheen dead snowboarding on Sunday? Nope, nada, nil. Eddie Murphy? He's fine, and according to Gawker also accused of snowboarding. Blame a faux "news organization" going by the name Global Associated News.

Oh, yes, the very ill Aretha Franklin? Also not dead as of Wednesday, though she is recovering from surgery and reportedly battling pancreatic cancer. Our wishes go out to her, and to her fans, who are so kind in comments.

This holiday break that has brought a slew of engagement and baby announcements has also brought a ludicrous number of death hoaxes -- sadly reminding the Ministry that when we heard a little over a year ago that actress and USO supporter Brittany Murphy had died, we assumed briefly that it was a hoax as well.

The introduction of the snowboarding angle is particularly offensive in Southern California because of the real death Monday of a 24-year-old Fullerton man who crashed into trees on his board at the Mountain High ski area. Offensive and unoriginal as well -- the Russell Crowe death hoax in June had the actor plunging from an Austrian mountaintop, which is close enough to snowboarding, conceptually, to be disparaged.

Chris Brown? Also not dead, though he's been kind of killing himself on Twitter in a war of words with a former member of the R&B group B2K, in which he invokes homosexual rape, racial slurs and more in response to comments about Rihanna. "Soon as i defend myself its world war 3," he tweeted Wednesday afternoon.

Morgan Freeman, Betty White, Bill Cosby, Gordon Lightfoot, Timbaland -- all still not dead, despite the Internet's best pathetic attempts to kill them off (in Cosby's case, four times so far). Check out our celebrity death hoax gallery for photos of other "victims."

Also: Ryan Seacrest, Lady Gaga and Kim Kardashian? No longer "dead" on social media, thanks to a large donation from a nice billionaire at the beginning of the month. And last time we checked, though they were fearing for their lives, Randy and Evi Quaid were still alive and kicking in Canada, blowing off even more court dates.


Morgan Freeman dead? No, he's not -- and CNN is looking into it

Betty White is just fine -- though one hoaxer better lie low for a while

Bill Cosby is not dead -- and he's not pleased about a fourth death hoax

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Owen Wilson was not dead at the "Little Fockers" premiere in New York on Dec. 15, 2010. Credit: Lucas Jackson / Reuters