PREACH IT! Kate Middleton and Audrina Patridge are the same person

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Kate Middleton and Audrina Patridge are the same person.

Well, OK, no they’re not. But has anyone seen both of them in the same room together? Exactly. And until we do, we are running with this crazy conspiracy theory until one or both of these ladies’ lawyers tell us not to.

After all, the future queen of England and the reality-TV star share strikingly similar features, including long brown hair, toothy grins, elusive upper lips and large, widely spaced eyes. Plus: Nobody can say for certain exactly what either of these women does for a living.

Yes, one gal is supposedly British. And one is also allegedly shorter -- Audrina’s at 5 feet 8 inches, Kate’s closer to 5 feet 10 -- but we shall withhold a final report until these two people prove, once and for all, that they are not each other.

Still not convinced? Well, OK. Let’s see how you do with a pop quiz:

One of these two was once a photographer. The other used to work at a photo studio. And you have no idea which person matches which job, do you? Touche! Point for us, we say! And now we’ll tell you: Middleton was the photographer. She took catalog pics for her parents’ mail-order toy company. Audrina had a job answering the phones at Smashbox.

And now, back to ironing the creases out of our tinfoil hats.

Carry on.

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-- Leslie Gornstein