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PREACH IT! Seal Levi Johnston's future! Right here! Right now! You betcha! [video, poll]

October 18, 2010 |  3:54 pm

Barbara Walters once wrote a book. It was called "How to Talk With Practically Anybody About Practically Anything." That was back in the 1970s. She has not lost her touch.

"You became famous for impregnating a 17-year-old girl," Walters told Levi Johnston on Monday's "The View." "You're 20 years old, you don't have a high school diploma yet, you don't have a trade. Now you're running for mayor.

"Would it not be better for you, instead of just seeking publicity ... to learn a trade, to find a job, to get an education and to support your son?"

Couldn't have said it better ourselves. Get a job, you Palin impregnator, you.

But what kind of profession could our boy from Wasilla possibly undertake? Well, we're members of the media, which means we (a) are experts in positively everything and (b) have absolutely no choice but to get up in this child’s business. You know, to make the world a better place. It's what Murrow would have wanted.

And because we're also members of the entertainment media, we simply must turn this whole exercise into a poll. Otherwise, why exactly did we wake up this morning?

So, what sort of career might fit Johnston best? Be aware that he has a background in hockey, so any career involving bench-clearing brawls may prove quite a fit. Phillies baseball comes to mind. We'll also make a few calls and see if there are any spare rooms in the "Jersey Shore" house.

While we're doing that, it's your turn.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Political hopeful Levi Johnston surfaces at 'ET' Emmy party

PREACH IT! Levi Johnston will not leave you alone until he is on TV [poll]

Hollywood officially runs out of ideas for what to do with Levi Johnston — so why not make him a politician?

Teen Choice Awards arrivals: Chace Crawford, Lea Michele, Selena Gomez and that guy who played Bristol Palin

Bristol Palin moves back in with Sarah Palin, calls off Levi Johnston engagement