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PREACH IT! Zsa Zsa Gabor, Act II

September 3, 2010 |  2:32 pm

Zsa-zsa-and-francesca Whip out the false eyelashes, put on your best leopard-print stole and let the daahhhhh-links roll of your tongue, for it is time to channel our inner Zsa Zsa Gabor. Gabor has proven a more resilient paprika dumpling than the press first expected; over the last several weeks, she’s survived several near-death health scares, one of which was so dire that she even reportedly requested extreme unction.

However, the biggest pain in Gabor’s life seems to be coming from her family.

In one corner: Francesca Hilton, Gabor’s sometimes-estranged daughter. In the other: the actress' German husband, Frederic von Anhalt. Hilton has blasted Von Anhalt, accusing him of using Gabor's precarious situation to stage publicity stunts.

"Francesca is not pleased with ... the care of her mother," read a statement issued by Hilton earlier this week. "It is not certain what kind of care and security she is receiving. None of that seems to be in effect, especially after the circus atmosphere two weeks ago upon her return home in an unnecessary motorcade organized for the press by her husband."

Von Anhalt, for his part, insists he wants to keep things classy; he announced this week that he hopes to plasticize his wife’s body after she dies.

"My wife has always dreamed that her beauty would be immortal," Von Anhalt said. "I would like to show the plastinated body of Zsa Zsa Gabor in the context of a scene in one of her films."

In the past, Gabor has accused her daughter of fraudulently taking out a loan on the actress' home. The lawsuit was eventually thrown out.

There's a theatrical, campy quality in certain celebrities that seems to attract hinky people -- or perhaps just bring out the hinky in the otherwise upstanding. The late Michael Jackson and Gary Coleman come to mind. Like Gabor, Jackson and Coleman had a taste for showmanship that spilled into their private lives, spurring an endless chain of tabloid reports about pet monkeys and cop-slapping and satirical runs for governor and nappy times in oxygen chambers. For these Hollywood types, shady loved ones inevitably end up in the mix.

Let's just hope this particular drama doesn't end with a hard-shellacked Zsa Zsa Gabor.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photo: Zsa Zsa Gabor, left, and Francesca Hilton in an undated photo. Credit: Courtesy of Francesca Hilton

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Zsa Zsa Gabor rushed back to hospital [Update: Condition not life-threatening]

Zsa Zsa Gabor's condition uncertain as daughter contradicts husband

First Lady Zsa Zsa Gabor? Her husband the prince is running for California governor

Prince Frederic von Anhalt, why have you forsaken us???

PREACH IT! Cougars and Twitter and bikinis — oh, my: Who'll join Demi Moore and Lisa Rinna?

PREACH IT! Marcus Jordan keeps up fine showbiz tradition of underage bar-hopping