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PREACH IT! Taylor Swift fools (almost) everyone

September 13, 2010 |  1:37 pm

Taylor-swift-vma Say! Let’s check out the headlines and see what made news at the Video Music Awards!

"Taylor Swift forgives Kanye West in a song," declared Radar this morning. "Taylor Swift absolves," the Washington Post confirmed. And via MTV, the outfit that hosted the VMAs and the celebrities in question: "Taylor Swift sings 'forgiveness' song to Kanye at VMAs."

Zowie. A trend, says I.

And also, a mystery: Because, good Lord, what MTV VMA show did these people watch? The one we saw did indeed feature Swift singing a painfully self-indulgent song while strumming a guitar stolen from a steampunk convention. But it certainly wasn’t a ditty of forgiveness. Not unless you also consider Winona Ryder and Gwyneth Paltrow to be soul mates who just had a couple of misunderstandings.

Swift’s lyrics went like this:

It's all right, just wait and see

Your streaming lights are still bright to me oh

Who you are is not who you've been

You're still an innocent

It's OK, life is a tough crowd

32 and still growing up now

Who you are is not what you did

You're still an innocent

For every carrot Swift hands to Kanye, she adds the slap of a stick. His "streaming lights" are still bright -- well, to her, anyway. Yes, Kanye is more than his sins; then again, he's "still growing up now."

Add it all up, and Swift’s "forgiveness" song turns out to be little more than an underhanded, transparent dis pulled straight from the Sarah Palin school of rhetoric: Millions of people may say you’re a loser, but not me, no sir! I just love your big ol' steaming pile of faults!

Some in the media may have been fooled by Swift's fake concession, but not the Ministry of Gossip. A full year after Kanye stole her microphone, Swift is still offering slams disguised as "forgiveness."

Which begs another question: Who is it, exactly, who needs to "grow up"?

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photo: Taylor Swift performs at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 12, 2010, in Los Angeles. Credit: Matt Sayles / Associated Press