PREACH IT! Build your own celebrity bumpwatch, starring Christina Applegate! It’s bumptastic!
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For those of you who’ve always wanted to be on the front lines of a real live celebrity bump watch, here’s your chance! Just fill in the bumpy blanks below, and you’ll have your very own authentic baby-bump-watch gossip clip. Your friends will be amazed! And if it’s not filled with enough bumpity-bump references to make your inner hausfrau dissolve into a jellylike mass of baby mania, feel free to add as many additional bump references as you see fit. Go ahead! Make it bump-er-iffic!
We’ve already saved you the hard work of writing a fresh-sounding headline:
CHRISTINA APPLEGATE’S BABY JOY!!!! BUMP WATCH!!!!! BUMPVILLE! BUMPARINO! WHO DAT BUMP!!!!
(Beautifully pregnant/Red-hot momma-to-be) Christina Applegate (debuted/showed off) her (baby bump/baby belly/bumpy baby) the other day wearing a (sleek/sexy/chic) black number that brought out her (healthy mommy glow/new curves/seriously did we say baby bump) (!/!!/!!!) She and her fiance, (rocker/crooner) Martyn Lenoble, say they (are over the moon/so like amazingly blessed/suffering from serious bump fever). Applegate plans to keep the baby weight off with plenty of (yoga/chasing her child around without the aid of a nanny/yoga/who cares would you look at that baby bump)!!!!
Now start again, make different choices, and see how many surprising variations you can get!
-- Leslie Gornstein
Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:
Christina Applegate is pregnant — wedding to follow?
Christina Applegate, musician Martyn LeNoble are engaged