Miley Cyrus gets naughty on British TV -- and we take the bait
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Miley Cyrus is a naughty, naughty, naughty girl! Oh my, yes! Yes she is!
OK, not really, but that’s what we felt like we were supposed to write after watching the video above.
The Anti-Hannah, it seems, went all Adam Lambert in front of a UK television audience Thursday night, wearing a Dark and Sexy Costume and howling a Dark and Sexy Rock Song and delivering a Dark and Same-Sexy Kiss.
(Well, almost a same-sex kiss -- she just faked it. Sort of pointed lips at another chick. Kind of like kissing the back of your hand when you make out with the other girls at the slumber party. Which apparently happens on some planet that exists only in the movies, yet we believe it to be truth nonetheless.)
This was all packaged in a not very dark or sexy guest performance of ‘Can’t Be Tamed’ on ‘Britain’s Got Talent,’ the show that introduced the world to then-contestant Susan Boyle. Not that it was a bad performance -- what do we know from pop criticism, right? -- just not particularly dark or sexy.
And to think, we’d been spooked once before about the inherent dangers of Miley performing on live TV.
A wise person once said, find what works and then copy it -- but of course a wise person ...
... knows which parts to copy. We can imagine Miley’s bad-girl coach peeping Lambert’s splashy, trashy American Music Awards performance from November, but missing what made it work as a true talker. Lambert’s decision to kiss that guy was ‘really in the moment,’ he said. (Not to mention the ‘American Idol’ runner-up’s sexuality was also a fairly big deal at the time.) Cyrus’ ‘smooch’? Watch the video, and you be the judge.
All in all, it probably was best to model off Lambert. If Miley had instead modeled herself along Boyle’s lines? Well, a 17-year-old delivering ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ in feathers, boots and a leotard might’ve had a certain charm all its own.
-- Christie D’Zurilla
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