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PREACH IT! The Gary Coleman mess: We didn’t know we could cringe any harder

June 10, 2010 |  1:45 pm
Gary coleman tv land
Gary Coleman
still isn’t interred.

The stubborn delays in funeral arrangements have triggered two rather inconvenient side effects: (1) sanctimonious fans leaping onto the Intertubes to condemn reporters for not “letting him rest in peace” -- as if Coleman is hovering over a laptop somewhere, weeping over every word -- and (2) heavy exposure to spokespeople who really love exclamation points. (I recently reached out to a rep for Shannon Price, Coleman’s ex, to ask about what kinds of assets the actor may have left behind. The five-sentence response included four exclamation points. We now know that “Gary and Shannon were very happy in the end!”)

The latest in the Coleman burial saga? Radar Online is reporting that the mortuary holding Coleman's body is going to court to have a judge decide what to do with the man’s remains. That’s because ...

... the two feuding parties -- ex-manager Dion Mial, who also claims to be executor of Coleman’s estate, and ex-wife Price -- can’t agree on what to do with his ashes. (Just a thought: At least they concurred over the cremation. That’s something, right?)

It gets worse. Deathbed photos of Coleman were released this week under shady circumstances. First, Price denied having anything to do with the pics. Then she didn’t. And oh: Dion thinks “foul play” was involved in Coleman’s death, even though police say that at the moment they don’t suspect anything hinky.

Speaking of hinky: Price and her agent have been rummaging around in Coleman’s house looking for documents for the purposes of no-one-is-sure-what. The locks have since been changed at the behest of Dion, who insists that only he, as the executor, has the right to do said rummaging. And everybody else is just feeling so, so terrible for that poor Gary Coleman -- even though the guy wasn't stupid and, after years of friendship, had to know the nature of the associates he chose.

Somehow we suspect that, by the time we post this, there will be fresh drama on the Coleman front. Time to go fetch the waders out of storage.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photo: Gary Coleman at a June 8, 2008, rehearsal for the TV Land Awards. Credit: David Strick / For the Los Angeles Times

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

PREACH IT! And here we thought the Gary Coleman story was over. We’re so naive

Funeral arrangements for Gary Coleman being planned

'Diff'rent Strokes' actor Gary Coleman has died

Gary Coleman is hospitalized, reportedly in 'critical condition' after falling

Gary Coleman's show will go on in upstate New York

PREACH IT! Nothing like a dead celebrity to bring out the classy best in mankind

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