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PREACH IT! Sandra Bullock -- pulling a Charlie Sheen?

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Sandra Bullock isn’t just divorcing and adopting. She’s also on the move. ‘Sources tell me that Sandra plans to split her time between her beloved Austin, Texas, and an old Victorian house she purchased in baby Louis’ birth town of New Orleans,’ PopEater’s Rob Shuter reports. ‘And as far as going back to work, friends say, ‘She might never make another film again. Now her life is about her son and finding happiness again.’ ‘

As word about this latest Bullock development has spread, the panic level has risen in direct proportion.

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“Sandra Bullock may never make another movie again!” Hollywood Life hyperventilated. “We want her to have a normal life … but we LOVE her movies! Hopefully she won’t stop making them all together [sic]!”

And in case that wasn’t quite hysterical enough: “Sandra is packing up,” Hollywood Life also shrieked, “and leaving town!”

O! M! G!

This isn’t the first time a star has moved away, of course. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones consider themselves to be residents of the Bahamas, while John Travolta’s ...

... airplane-friendly house in Ocala, Fla., has been the subject of many a media report. Julia Roberts married husband Danny Moder at her ranch in Taos, N.M. And Matthew McConaughey was in his home in Texas when he was infamously busted for (a) running around naked while (b) playing the bongos.
All of those people are still very much still a part of the movie business. And yet, when a “source” close to Bullock floats the notion that the actress’ move may signal her retirement, the tabloids believe it every single time. By now, we should know what such savvy leaks really mean: Sure, a star is still available, just not, necessarily, you know, for you. Or at the same price.

Remember how Jennifer Aniston was supposedly mulling quitting acting and starting a family -- right around the time when negotiations were underway for another season of ‘Friends’? Aniston didn’t go anywhere, of course, but along with her costars she got to work less -- filming fewer episodes while keeping her $1-million-per-episode paycheck. And how about Charlie Sheen? He’s supposedly thinking about walking away from “Two and a Half Men,” but in reality, not so much. In fact, our own Company Town blog estimates that Sheen’s coyness will likely “take him north of $1 million” per episode.

So when Sandra Bullock announces her next project -- possibly from the cozy safety of some non-Hollywood abode -- don’t be surprised. And in the meantime, TRY NOT TO PANIC!!!!!!!!

-- Leslie Gornstein

Top photo: In the 1998 movie ‘Hope Floats,’ Sandra Bullock played a character starting a new life for her and her child in a noncosmopolitan locale. How did we not know what this meant???? Look at the picture!!! She costarred with Harry Connick Jr. -- the same Harry Connick Jr. who JUST THIS WEEK mentored on ‘American Idol’ this week!!! In hindsight, the signs are all so very, very clear. Credit: Christine Loss / 20th Century Fox.

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Above left photo: Jennifer Aniston gives a million-dollar wave at the premiere of ‘Exposados’ (The Bounty Hunter) in Madrid on March 30, 2010. Credit: Carlos Alvarez / Getty Images.

Click and scroll down for all things Sandra Bullock or Charlie Sheen -- or simply peruse the Preach It! archives. Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter (we’re @LATcelebs) or get us in your news feed on Facebook.

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