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PREACH IT! Roman Polanski is his own personal Jesus

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Ah, Switzerland. The frauleins. The Alps. The -- wait, what’s that self-serving bellowing noise coming from that massive chalet? Can someone look into that and shut it up? It’s making the Saint Bernards go all twitchy. Oh. It’s Roman Polanski. Should’ve known.

For months, Polanski has been digging in his exquisitely shod heels at his chalet, Milky Way, in Gstaad, deploying lawyers and filing motions in an attempt to whitewash a crime he committed more than three decades ago. The story is as complicated as it is sordid, but essentially, the director had sex with a California minor, plead guilty to unlawful sex with said minor, and did 42 days of psychiatric evaluation. When word came down that Polanski might actually owe the state of California more jail time -- for, you know, having sex with a minor -- Polanski bailed to Europe. There is some evidence that the judge in Polanski’s case may have abused his authority, but instead of hashing that out, Polanski decided the law was just too uncivilized to merit any more of his time.

‘I ran away because I think that I was very unfortunate to have a judge who misused justice,’ Polanski told ’60 Minutes’ years ago. (And, oh, Polanski isn’t particularly sorry for what he did either. ‘Everyone wants to [to have sex with] young girls,” Polanski told the British mag Tatler in 1980.)

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This weekend, Polanski’s delusional sense of personal injustice reached a new high. How do we know? He talked again.

‘I can remain silent no longer because the request for my extradition addressed to the Swiss authorities is founded on a lie,” Polanski intoned in a dramatic passage that read more like ...

... a college Take Back the Night rally than a posting on a friend’s blog. “I can no longer remain silent because the United States continues to demand my extradition more to serve me on a platter to the media of the world than to pronounce a judgment concerning which an agreement was reached 33 years ago.” (The title of Polanski’s posting? ‘I Can Remain Silent No Longer.’) Much hay has been made over Polanski’s legal rights in this case. What hasn’t been examined so much is Polanski’s increasingly Gandhi-like tone.

At one point, Polanski’s decision to flee was just that -- a decision to flee. But somewhere along the way, Polanski’s plight seems to have elevated beyond everyone-wants-young-girls to a child predator’s version of ‘I Have a Dream.’ He’s not a fugitive anymore; he’s a persecuted artiste who is being hounded for some sort of unholy bourgeois sacrifice. Polanski must remain free, or else he will be burned upon the stake of the Media of the World.

Let’s hope Polanski gets dragged back here sooner rather than later -- if for no other reason than to end his own personal crusade.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Top photo: Roman Polanski in early 2009 on the set of ‘The Ghost Writer,’ a film that’s now in theaters. He continued with post-production work during his incarceration. Credit: Summit Entertainment

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

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Roman Polanski has to show up -- Jake Harris and Lindsay Lohan too

Roman Polanski, California still wants to see you in court

Roman Polanski is home -- under house arrest -- in Gstaad

Roman Polanski gets bail -- if it sticks, will he skip again? [POLL]

The Ministry has plenty more about celebrities getting their day (or days) in court.

Want more headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we’re @LATcelebs). Find us on Facebook at facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

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