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PREACH IT! Kate Gosselin’s ‘DWTS’ trauma: She does it for the kids

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Poor Kate Gosselin. She really wishes she didn’t have to be famous, but she must be. The mother of eight has no choice, she insists, but to endure ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ and her upcoming reality show, and the absolutely mandatory five-figure makeovers, and the book tours. But not because she craves the attention. No. Make no mistake. Every second she suffers in the spotlight -- in the makeup chair, in a lonely green room filled only with gourmet bottled water and freshly catered food -- is all for the love of the children. “I don’t see another option,” Gosselin told Meredith Vieira in what has become a familiar refrain. “I have eight kids to provide for.”

Sure, at first glance, Kate is dealing with a pretty pricey litter of rug rats. According to one analysis, it could cost her and her ex, Jon, about $300,000 to raise each of their eight children to college age -- roughly $2.4 million total. If each of the kids also attends college, that’s at least another mil. So, Jon and Kate are facing, if the pundits are to be believed, at least $3.4 million in total costs to raise their kids.

But keep on crunching the numbers, and Kate’s Mother Theresa motives start to crumble. These are ...

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... the same eight kids who earned Jon and Kate a reported $22,500 per episode back when they were pimping them out under the brand name of ‘Jon & Kate Plus Eight.’ That’s $2,250 per household member, per week, not including untold thousands of dollars in free trips, food and other goodies that come with being a reality spectacle. In fact, according to Jon, the family made a total of more than $2 million after four years of filming ‘Jon & Kate.’

And there’s more. Jon Gosselin provides a reported $20,000 per month in child support. Of course that’s far from the income the family saw in its reality heyday, but it’s still nearly a quarter-million in fresh cash per year. Kate Gosselin also has written several books -- earning her at least $1 million that she, according to her ex, managed to squirrel away.

Lastly, there’s Kate’s upcoming reality TV series, “Twist of Kate.” Given how much a basic cable network has paid for access to the Gosselins in the past, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to expect that the single mom will be earning five healthy figures per episode of that show.

Which leaves us with “Dancing with the Stars,” and Gosselin’s insistence that she has no other choice but to be there. Yes ‘DWTS’ pays great -- at least $100,000 per season, if not much more -- but it’s ridiculous to believe that Gosselin absolutely must glide around with some guy in tight pants if she wants to avoid a homeless shelter. It’s sanctimonious spin aimed at credulous hausfraus, and it’s also unnecessary. If Gosselin likes being famous, she should just say so. Her dancing is horrendous, but she’d at least get points for honesty.

-- Leslie Gornstein

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