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PREACH IT! Actually, don’t preach it. Don’t say anything, ladies. It’s not really sexy.

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Attention, Hollywood babes: Stop talking, stay out of the spotlight and you just might find yourself one of the world’s most desirable women! Wouldn’t that be exciting? Don’t answer that. That’s talking.

According to a spanking-new poll of the 99 most desirable women -- released by the website AskMen.com -- the world’s best girlfriend or wife material comes in the form of an actress named Emmanuelle Chriqui. No. 2 on the list is woman named Marisa Miller. No. 4? Alessandra Ambrosio. Haven’t heard of them? Exactly.

‘[Chriqui] is not out there making a spectacle of herself, which could sully her image,’ AskMen.com editor in chief James Bassil told Reuters. ‘A lot of the behavior we see in the media is not the kind of behavior that you want to see in a girlfriend or wife. You can get over-saturation, and we don’t want to see their real and sometimes stained and depressed sides of their lives.’

There’s more.

“All the top women we see in this list are pretty well behaved and respectable women. We don’t see a lot of them parading around in public unless it is in the framework of their careers,’ Bassil said.

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Fact: Ambrosio and Miller are Victoria’s Secret models. So it’s perfectly OK for them to “parade around” in their underwear and gigantic angel wings. That doesn’t count as making a spectacle of oneself. It’s not OK, however, for these ladies to command much attention beyond that.

Guys may not like a women who appear overmuch on TV and in magazines. But there’s usually a link between all those magazine covers and their subjects: success. Power, or at least some measure of clout with the media and fans.

Julia Roberts, Reese Witherspoon or Kate Hudson? Apparently not “respectable” enough for this crowd. None of them made the list. Katherine Heigl? With all the stuff she’s said about her scripts? No way, man. Not on the list.

For the record, Chriqui is a lovely girl, arguably one of the best-looking women working in television, mostly via Sloan, her girlfriend character -- now fiancee -- on “Entourage”. And No. 3 on the list was a bigger star -- Kate Beckinsale. Then again, she hasn’t been in a major movie in a while; that might totally kill the mystery, I guess.

And -- full disclosure -- the list does have mega-earners on it, most notably Beyonce, who, along with Hollywood heavyweight Penelope Cruz, both made the top 10.

But Angelina Jolie, one of the most bankable names in town, barely made the list, at No. 88.

I guess “parading around” in Third World countries trying to solve poverty isn’t all that hot.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photos, from top: Desirable role models Marisa Miller, Alessandra Ambrosio and Emmanuelle Chriqui, out and about, living their unsullied, desirable, spectacle-free lives. Credits, from top: Jason Kempin / Getty Images; Jason DeCrow / Assocated Press; Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images.

Time to make a spectacle of yourself wallowing in Preach It! goodness -- just click here and scroll down to enjoy, among other articles, the tale of the Golden Globes gift that has the pig-rescue community squealing, the saga of Gary Coleman’s penis, the story of why Charlie Sheen is less disappointing than Chris Brown, and advice on how to drive like a rapper in 2010. We also laugh at celebs who quit Twitter and go pout. Good times all around.

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Or did you just like the pictures of pretty girls? Click this link and scroll down for more gratuitous beefcake and cheesecake.

Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter (we’re @LATcelebs). And if you want to become a fan on Facebook, we have a snappy new address: facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

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