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Tiger Woods says ‘all my fault,’ praises wife Elin Nordegren, hires attorney Mark NeJame

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‘This situation is all my fault,’ says Tiger Woods, who is giving a big bravo to the actions of his wife, Elin Nordegren, after his single-car crash. He also has hired lawyer Mark NeJame, who contacted police to cancel an interview at the couple’s home that had been rescheduled for today.

In a written statement on his official website, Woods said, in part:

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‘This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again. ‘This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible. ‘The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.’

The transcript of the 911 call was also released -- click here to read it.

If the Ministry had Tiger’s resources ...

... we’d hire a kick-butt lawyer and make full use of all of our legal and constitutional rights. And we’d probably issue a statement too (though ours would have more italicized words and Capitalization For Effect).

But Tiger’s public reputation (some would dispute his ‘I’m human’ assertion) and his clean track record in the decency department make handling something privately a whole easier said than done -- because millions of dedicated fans really, really, really want to know what happened. Even if it’s not trashy.

Especially if it’s not trashy.

‘He’s taking responsibility,’ many will say. ‘Let him do it in private.’ And Tiger says he does understand the curiosity. But his understanding it doesn’t make the curiosity go away.

Given his position on the public stage, it’d be nice to know what exactly he’s taking responsibility for.

The Ministry hopes that time will tell.

-- Christie D’Zurilla

More sporty dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Tiger Woods, his wife, that odd little car accident -- and Rachel Uchitel

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Tiger Woods slightly injured in accident near his home

‘Celebrity fan’ Mike V is part of Scott Niedermayer hockey stick brawl

Divorce for Shaquille O’Neal? Wife files for separation -- in California

Dr. Drew Pinsky really is a superhero (on the football field)

What should Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush be for Halloween?

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys: Rock me out to the ballgame

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Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom: Stop us if this sounds familiar

Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we’re @LATcelebs).

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