Tiger Woods, his wife, that odd little car accident -- and Rachel Uchitel

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Golf superhero in early-morning car wreck! Former Swedish model to the rescue!

Or, wait -- maybe not so fast?

Here’s our best-effort roundup of the story thus far.

[UPDATE: 2:23 p.m., Nov. 28, 2009: The Florida Highway Patrol says it will release 911 tapes related to the accident Sunday and expects to wrap up its investigation early in the week, the L.A. Times’ Fabulous Forum blog reports. The couple were not available Saturday to talk to the Florida Highway Patrol, according to Woods’ agent, and police were asked to return Sunday, Sports Illustrated reports.]

Elin Nordegren told police that she was inside their Florida home when she heard husband Tiger Woods’ car crash. She then raced to the scene, toting a golf club that she used to break out the rear window of the Cadillac Escalade that Tiger had slammed into a fire hydrant. And then a tree. For no apparent reason. At 2:25 in the morning Friday.

Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor said his responding officers, who arrived at the scene to find Tiger on the ground with Elin at his side, had not heard anything about an alleged argument earlier between the two, the Associated Press reported. The Orlando Sentinel has posted a short news release from the police. ‘The crash remains under investigation and charges are pending.’

Charges against whom? For what?

Authorities are scheduled to interview Woods today, NPR reports. [UPDATE, 11:56 a.m. Nov. 28, 2009: Tiger Woods’ official statement made Friday is here.]

TMZ.com, however, is saying via an unnamed source that the injuries weren’t entirely a result of the accident. And Deadspin and the First Church of Tiger Woods were among many online venues pointing out various flaws in the ‘Elin saves the day with a golf club’ scenario. And a PGA tour golfer, Lee Janzen, a neighbor, speculated he might be -- going to work out? Hohhhh-kay.

And the red-hot name making the gossip rounds?

Rachel Uchitel. But now we are sooo uncomfortably far into the realm of unconfirmed rumors that we’d prefer you do your own research.

All this just days after Woods was booed during a halftime appearance at alma mater Stanford University.

The Ministry has been fond of watching Tiger bring home the bacon on a Sunday afternoon, so this story is no fun at all.

Someone -- and quite likely more than one someone -- has got a lot of ‘splainin to do.

-- Christie D’Zurilla

More sporty dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Tiger Woods slightly injured in accident near his home

‘Celebrity fan’ Mike V is part of Scott Niedermayer hockey stick brawl

Divorce for Shaquille O’Neal? Wife files for separation -- in California

Dr. Drew Pinsky really is a superhero (on the football field)

What should Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush be for Halloween?

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys: Rock me out to the ballgame

‘This Is It’ for Michael Jackson’s brothers -- and the Lakers and Clippers

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom: Stop us if this sounds familiar

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