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No naked Harry Potter for you! (But you knew that already, right?)

November 5, 2009 | 12:47 pm

"Non vorrei che si spogliano se fossi in te, Harry."

-- Albus Dumbledore advising Harry Potter not to take off his clothes, cleverly encoded in Google-translator Italian, to confuse the tabloid press

Was something about Daniel Radcliffe lost in translation? Something that conveniently involved nudity? Hmm. On Wednesday folks were in a spin reporting that Harry Potter might soon channel his inner Levi Johnston, after remarks made by "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" director David Yates -- published in a language that's not English -- hit the Internet.

What a difference a phone call makes.

Or even a shred of common sense -- did anyone really think that a franchise that's been firmly in the PG and PG-13 arena would close out with a rating that restricted ticket sales? And it's not as if "Daniel Radcliffe naked" is something new. BTDT, totes, dude.

Oh, wait, someone said naked. Heh heh. Daniel Radcliffe naked.

Here's a link to the Italian magazine that interviewed David Yates. Is this the interview in question? Is it a follow-up or just a comment from the peanut gallery? Heck, we don't know and we're not going to pretend we do! Because unlike most people, we don't speak Italian!

Click onward to see what happened when we put the item through Google's translation tool.

"Dear readers, dear readers,
"as you can read on page 58, in the next film in the Harry Potter, who is running in this period in England, we will see the boy wizard as Mom did. Yes, you read right: Harry, or rather Daniel Radcliffe, the actor who plays him, will appear nude on the big screen in a love scene. Nothing takes my head that this is a publicity stunt to raise the expectation with respect to a film that will be in theaters until next year. But apart from that, Harry Potter naked I do not want to see. Yes, because to me it's like seeing Mickey Mouse and Shirley Temple naked topless. And like them, all other numbers and characters of our imagination that kept us company in the past and will do forever in books, in film and television. Because this is precisely the point: Harry Potter, like his 'colleagues' that I mentioned earlier, we will always need them and we want as we loved them the first time. In life, this unfortunately is closed to us, because we can not afford at least in fantasy? Think instead of the actor who plays the boy wizard now has 20 years, has grown, changed and ... bares it! In short, the height of this story is that Harry, so adept at learning tricks and spells, it demonstrates quite inept in magic easier for a character in the fantasy does not grow. Have you ever seen Donald missed in the course of time a feather (if not the fault of Uncle Scrooge dell'alabarda)? Yet over 75 years. Instead, the authors of Potter, the writer who created the writers of the film, decided that must grow old, undress and ... And the next move? I am not surprised that they did participate in the Isle of fame ... next time!"

Obviously, the takeaway from that is: "Daniel Radcliffe naked."

-- Christie D'Zurilla

P.S. Celebrating that we've crashed our browser multiple times this morning, we present this rather dense bit of IT-related "Harry Potter" satire. Suitable for computer geeks only.

Photo: Michael Gambon, left, and Daniel Radcliffe in "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." Credit: Warner Bros.